For guys - new sexual partner, no orgasm

Some girls have more trouble having an orgasm than others. It depends on how far away the clitoris is from the vaginal opening. It's possible that she might need clitoral stimulation as well as penetration to orgasm.

Whatever the case may be, open communication here is the key. She needs to tell you what feels good and if you should do anything differently because it sounds like you're making the effort to get her there too.

So if the OP is interested in my feelings, I have to be honest even though I know that my answer wouldn´t be considered "right" or "mature" or "healthy" by modern view offered by experts and pop psych writers who try to make people feel good about themselves and raise their self-esteem at any costs.<BR>So I know that "it´s nobody´s fault" or "I´d appreciate she did not fake it" are the right and mature and politically correct answers showing that the man is a true erotic artist and not a performance oriented freak with complexes and insecurity issues. But I am not an erotic artist and I am not the healthy, selfconfident modern guy modelled by pop psych health magazines.<BR>I will be honest with my feelings even if they are not "right" and "correct" but they are authentic and sincere instead.<BR>My immature answer is: depending on the situation I would feel something from these-<BR>1.(if she told me what works for her but it did not work if I did it) -I am a loser, I hate myself for my poor sexual skills, horrible appearance and zero sex appeal. <BR>2. (if she was showing signs of real sexual excitement and then suddenly when I was over, she would feel it is perfectly OK that she has not orgasmed in spite of being close to it) - I would think that she supposes that my skills are so poor that it is not even worth trying. "Don´t worry, poor guy, no point in trying, you are not one of those masters who can do it for me!" OR if her excitement did not crave for satisfaction, that she might either fake it or have some kind of excitement that I am not familiar with.<BR>3. Of course I would also appreciate that she did not fake it. But the fact that the only kind of orgasm I am able to produce would be a faked one, I´d be glad she did not go this way, but it would not make my day brighter.<BR><BR>I know these feelings are stupid. Fortunately, I do not look for new partners and casual sex anymore, because I have a long-term girlfriend and sex with her is great because of many, many things, one of them being the fact that we have discovered a reliable way(ways) how to enjoy our sexual excitement without letting her without an orgasm, so in fact among all other things, there is also this small one: she has orgasms during sex with me and it is not irrelevant to me that both of us can enjoy our sexual encounters without the risk of being left without the fulfilment which is brought by the climax. And certainly I know that what works for her might not work for other women, one of the million reasons why I consider myself lucky that I do not feel the need to have new sexual encounters.

I'd think: "at least she didn't fake one".

Fortunately for me (or the women I sleep with), I am well versed on female orgasms and quite well aware that roughly a third of women have difficulty achieving orgasms through normal sex. So as for what I would think, I would think its ok. I would just need to ensure she is comfortable and relaxed and take my time to find her pleasure triggers.

This question is meant to find out what guys would think in the described situation, not to find advice. Of course, all comments are appreciated anyway :)

I have yet to see the claw technique fail at making a girl cum really hard, it even worked on a 30 year old who had never orgasmed before.