For a older black woman to love a younger white guy

89% Normal
22 Comments

Hello,

Yes I'm new on this site I'm needing others point of view. I'm an older black woman 44yrs young who met a younger white guy who is 27yrs old on a internet program. We've met and have been intimate with one another but he is not sexually experienced to my liking but I have come to really love and adore him and with that said, I'm willing to deal with it. I know men do it all the time but society seems to feel it's not normal for an older woman to deal with a younger man we're called cougars ~~rolls my eye's~~ on top of things he is white and I am black but I look more like I am in my late thirties.I really am in love with him but he is now struggling with the age difference, so can I get some point of views here? it would be great to know if this is normal

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89% Normal
Based on 274 votes (243 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • lisa1969
    12 years ago

    I am an older Black woman (42) and have been dating a younger white guy now 27 for 2 years. It is unual because you never see this.... He approached and I was shocked because never thought a younger and white no less would be attracted to an older black woman but here I am. I guess the real issue is if he wants kids. I feel like you are both happy then it is okay....I am crazy about my guy and we just take it one day at a time. We enjoy each others company and we mutually love an respect each other. We both know that people may never understand what we have but it doesn't matter cause we are happy and that what counts. Ask your self does he make you happy? Do you have fun with him? Is the realtionship progressing? Honestly you are the only other person I have met dating a younger white man.

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  • bambi156
    14 years ago

    If you guys really are in love like you say. Then these 2 differences should'nt bother you. But the problem is that is a big difference in age 44 and 27. You will get older and less attractive, but if the guy is Mr. Right then it wont matter.And the other thing so what if your black and he's white were not living in the 60's anymore and if people jugde. Who cares what really matters is what you guys think of each other.

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    • INLOVE65
      14 years ago

      bambi156, thanks for ur feedback and that is sweet of u but actually I really don't have an issue with the color barrier thing I'm past that portion of my life because life is much too short to be concern over ignorance and u r right the age is a big gap which I realized but our emotions and feelings spiritually got the best of us which turned into intimacy and so far as older yes but less attractive I beg to differ because as u know most black ethinics age grace slowly my mother looked very good in her 60's moreless looked like she was in her early 50's and even now in her 70's she look as though she is in her 60's lol, plus it all depends on how hard ur life is on u to take a toll on how old u look. I really thank u for ur feedback! very kind of u

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  • 1000yrVampireKing
    11 years ago

    Sure why not. Its called a cougar by the way.

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  • tampabayallstar
    14 years ago

    Barking is a dogs way of talking. What if every time humans talked, dogs would kill the humans doing the talking. Remember, dogs have better hearing than humans.

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  • Midna
    14 years ago

    I bet many people do.

    I guess it is normal as long as it's only a thought and that you wouldn't attemp tp kill a dog.

    I can find it very annoying when dogs are barking but I go elsewhere or listen to music. Sometimes I try and see if the dog barking can keep rhythm with a song!

    ~Midna

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  • orlybro
    14 years ago

    It's definitely normal but at the same time....Sadly the age difference to the guy will not help him see something for a long-term relationship...Indefinitely it is normal to feel love for a younger guy. But, at the same time does he feel the same way and could think of a future with you? Age is just a number but plays in all our lives in relationships biologically and intimately.

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    • INLOVE65
      14 years ago

      Orlybro,thanks for your input and everyone for that matter this subject is closed now because I unfortunately broke his heart and had to let him go; and had to express to him it's for the best for both of us, we agree to stay friends and move on with our life's. I appreciate everyone's input on the matter but it wasn't going to work for me.Thanks

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    You are both well into adulthood and so there is no reason to be concerned if this works for both of you. But it is not. The age difference shows up in who has more life experience (you) and it does matter to him.

    So you may need to talk it through to get at his specific concerns. Be open minded & respectful, and prepared to accept that some of his concerns may be things you just can't do much about. Or may have nothing much to do with age at all.

    Anyway - I think this "cougar" crap is insulting and sexist. So ignore that & just try your best. I hope it works out for you one way or the other.

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    • INLOVE65
      14 years ago

      Ollieo, thank you for ur feedback it is very commendable of you and very respectful! Everything u say is true and I am very open minded to things for sure and this is why I went as far as I did with things, most friends around my age wouldn't even have dared to go this route as I have, and color is definitely not an issue for me at all because life is much to short but I do have to be sensible about things as well, we're both working on it daily but there are a lot of things with us that are up in the air right now, now if u have some other questions u were wondering u can ask me it's fine :) so I do appreciate ur comments and gratitude on this prospect. I'm with you on that whole thing "COUGAR" crap and insulting also, it's ok for these OLD I mean OLD cats to parade around with these young girls and society thinks it's cute and then when an older woman decides to get involved with a younger guy we have to be called a name ~~shaking my head~~ the world is so backwards and screwed up! I wonder if it was a man who started the whole cougar thing lol..because if so probably was a ego thing...lol..no but who ever it was it's stupid..but again thank u for ur support and response it is very appreciative, God bless

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Its fine, in my profile you will see a link to some pictures of my life and a few of them are of my ex girlfriend. WHo just happens to be black and 11 years older than me. The relationship was fine and I did enjoy Vietnam (She was mixed) but she cheated on me with a richer man and that is how the relationship ended.

    I still miss her sometimes so I understand, I think you are fine.

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  • DiscoDuck
    14 years ago

    Cougar Alert!

    It might be a good experience for the young lad, but in the end you just can not compete with a 20yr old.

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    • INLOVE65
      14 years ago

      DiscoDuck, this is fine u say this and u r entitled to ur opinions because u don't know me moving forward

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      • INLOVE65
        14 years ago

        DiscoDuck, lol u r quite the judger on things, I at first wasn't going to feed into ur NEGATIVITY energy because I ask for it, by getting on this website; but any rate can u plz ask questions before assuming anything because everything u said is not true only God knows the full truth about our life's no human being, all humans can do is speculate and Judge one another unless being told by the person themselves. You don't know why I'm single u have no clue u r just going on assumptions because u r not using your best common sense that God gave us to use, is to just ask the person b4 coming up with ur judgmental tantics, this is why we human beings are in the shape we're in today and why God had to die on the Cross for our sins because of pple like u. I'm going to give u some pointers for life get the facts straight before assuming things about ppl, just ASK no harm done I still respect ur opinion because of the type of person I am God be with u. :)

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        • DiscoDuck
          14 years ago

          Oh No...you are religious too.

          Just for the record I am an Atheist, so please don't point your God at me...LOL.

          You are right, all anyone can do is guess. But "Judging" from your comment about sex and him not being "experienced" enough tells me that you are the typical Christian. What would your God do concerning sexual matters between two unmarried people? Crack that bible open and read sista...

          BTW, it was Jesus who supposedly died on the Cross...you know the man people called the son of God.

          And yes it is OK for an older cat to parade around town with a younger babe. Old women need to stay in their place and embrace their OLD age with dignity. Its embarrassing to see an old women trying to act young.

          I don't think Cougar is a bad thing, its just an accurate description of a cat out on the hunt. You know you women are a lot like cats, always thinking, clever, tricky, sneaky, and mean as hell...lol.

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          • INLOVE65
            14 years ago

            DiscoDuck; lol I'll love to have a good one on one debate with you but I don't want to give you energy.

            Also for the record Im very spiritual and I don't believe in any religion; ok? further more I know I don't know you but I have to wonder did a woman do a number on you because you sound very old, bitter and angry? There are a lot of beautiful older woman out there who is more in their peak than most older men, most men has to take viagra and cialis among other suppliments to stay up float lol; sorry had to mention that :) is that your problem?

            God loves you and be with you, because even though you say you are a Athiest I do know if you were put in a tragic situation, Gods name will be the first you would call on. lol lol God bless and be with you! Stay up float ya hear lmao

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    • [Old Memory]
      14 years ago

      Yes she can as long as she trys from day one of the relationship to not let experiences influence her decisions. The part that really hurt Lien and I was when she wanted to be my mommy on top of everything else. This part bothered me as I was working two jobs and quite honest, a good guy already.

      Just dont' be the boss of the relationship but instead try to be 50-50 on everything. Also, realise that you do have more experience than he does but don't hold it to his face when it suits you. If you do, you will only ruin the relationship.

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      • [Old Memory]
        14 years ago

        Lastly, my email is in my profile so if you need any advice, I would be more than happy to answer any questions you may have. I waas with my ex for three years and as the younger, white man I can probably help you.

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        • INLOVE65
          14 years ago

          Budthewise,first of all let me say I'm sorry for what has happen to you in ur relationship but I
          will say I hope u have forgiven her,plus what goes around always comes back around for people to learn from their mistakes in God's timing. Thank u for ur comment it meant a lot coming from someone who has been there and back, you make an excellent point about not trying to be his mother because in our arguments that has come up from him feeling that way and it was never my intentions to make him feel this way and I have told him on numerous occasions and he understood but let me give u a little more in debth of our relationship he has two small girls who is 3 and 4 which he had to get custody of because the girls mother was around his age but she was not ready to raise them and now he and the girls mother is divorced, I'm divorced also but have no children but I'm willing to be with him despite our differences we have with one another because I truly do love him and I'm very picky with who I choose to be with and so when we met my spirit was at ease and we met twice now which this last time when we saw one another it was strained because what I didn't mention he is in a different state from where I live also, so on top of things we're in a long distance relationship etc.
          So we do have a few things against us among some other things but again I truly love him for various reasons too many to mention on here but willing to try and make it work but the ball now is in his court! I will not force anything because if something is meant to be you wont have to force the issue.Plus I love his daughters and they do need a balance mother in their life's. I really appreciate ur feedback and appreciate if you all have more to add on, from the additional information I've given it will be appreciated? thanks

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          • [Old Memory]
            14 years ago

            Well, in the end, I am happy with my fiance now. I have been with her for two years and everythign is great. I wish you the best of luck though and I hope you are truly happy.

            Thank you and I am glad I helped.

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            • INLOVE65
              14 years ago

              Budthewise; you are very welcome and I appreciated all your comments and glad you are happy :). I had to break it off with him and explained it was best for the both of us; I didn't mean to break his heart but in the long while he would thank me one day. We both agree to stay friends, God bless you and your fiance'
              for years to come! :)

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      • DiscoDuck
        14 years ago

        She already has issues with his LACK of sexual experience. Going into it with shallow thinking isn't a good sign.

        Sure anything is possible, we all tend to believe in fairy tail endings or at least hope. But reality has shown each and every one of us that fairy tails aren't real and no matter how hard you dream or wish, human tendencies win out every time.

        She is trying to give her life a fresh start by going young and going white and the kid is just doing what young males do, look for more and different types of women to lay.

        If she knew anything about relationships she would not be a sinlge 40something yr old woman. People are single for a reason. This is going to take the typical path and end in break up...just hope he does not get her pregnant. His life will be over before it even started.

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