Fishcake sex

Me and my bf were doing it and his Mother who we thought was asleep downstairs shouts: TOM DO YOU WANT FISH CAKES FOR DINNER!? and tom is like: NO MOM!! then his mom is like: I DONT HAVE ANYTHING ELSE!!! and they have some big shouting discussion while I am lying there naked. So his mom microwaves them and is like: TOM YOUR FISHCAKES ARE READYYYY. He goes downstairs in his robe and comes back with them and they STINK like a donkey farted on eggs. I am still naked under the covers and he asks if I want some and I say not really so he eats them on the bed naked in front of me then he suddenly pulls the covers off me with a naughty look in his eye and I'm like ??? and he puts a whole fishcake on my bare stomach and starts eating it and I ask: What are you doing!? and Tom says: trust me, and I felt a chunk land on my thing and it lingers there for awhile. It was like 100 degrees in his room the smell was making my eyes water. He suddenly starts going down on me. I thought I was going to pass out and throw up at the same time as he was rubbing the fish cake all over me turning me into some smelly crusty sea creature.

Then he kissed me.

it was like being kiss attacked by a zombie that had been dead for 2 years and eaten a plate of rotting fish he found on a hot day mixed in with fried garlicky cheese sauce melted in chicken poop. I asked him to stop and he look at me confused and whispered in my face: whats wrong? and another wave of smell hit me like a slap in the face.

I had to get up then and get some AIR and run to the bathroom and I threw up in the sink and got in the shower trembling thinking I would spew again. I left after that.

I can still smell it on my skin I feel like throwing up again reading this

Was this normal? Should I break up with him? He has text and called me 20 times I am ignoring it.

Voting Results
20% Normal
Based on 15 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • dappled

    I have to admit, I have been left a bit speechless. I've never seen anything like this before and I just don't know what to make of it. I'm slightly disturbed, perhaps a little mortified, and certainly a little queasy. She put *fishcakes* in a *microwave*?

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    • Justsomejerk

      Cooking chicken in a microwave is fowl.

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      • dappled

        This poultry humour is paltry! :P

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    • dirtybirdy

      Haha I thought that too. Catch of the day! Fish sticks.

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      • dappled

        Only if it's sticky. :P

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    • BadBobby

      I think a smelly pussy is worse than cooking fishcakes, dude... I once threw up on my girlfriend's pussy when she opened her legs and said "Soup's on"

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  • MissyLeyneous

    Be honest with him, I guess. Tell him that was THE most disgusting thing ever. Next time try something delicious.

    Fresh fruit maybe? Whipped cream? Cheese in a can?

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  • Jeaneathean

    Men are odd, especially when it comes to sex on occasion. I think I'd let him off this one, and talk about it to make sure he knows where the boundaries are. You can learn something about one another from this.

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  • BurnaBaby27

    Wtf is a fish cake??

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    • it is fish covered in batter like fish and chips put it has loads of horrible fillings and they are gross

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      • BurnaBaby27

        Oh my goodness. I am so sorry that that happened to you.

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  • quentari

    answer the phone and tell him that was completely gross.

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  • Avant-Garde

    O_0

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  • Jacobella

    tbh I am wondering if men find it orgasmic to cover girls in food..

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  • dirtybirdy

    That was rather amusing. I have no advice.

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    • shuggy-chan

      Same, and a bit flabbergasted, I maybe suggest and more mature bf. No wonder women think us men are pigs, geez us

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      • dirtybirdy

        Seriously. But you have nothing to worry about though, you're not piggish in any way ever :)

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        • shuggy-chan

          Yeah, I'm more bearish I think, pedo bearish

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