Finished with relationships

I recently tossed my girlfriend of 10 years out the door. There was no more intimacy, arguments became me making mockery of her, I couldn't even get angry anymore, it was so funny to me to see her get mad at every little thing and have her threaten with absolutes like "Fine, I'll never help you again, Fine, you can sleep alone." I'm not a bad man, I am just a pathetically hopeless romantic. Sure, I may have a good job in IT, a nice home, and comfort and security, but what does that all matter when you can't find a woman to love you and treat you right when you go out of your way to do so and then your kindness is taken advantage of?

I'm not going homosexual, I'm not resorting back to being the date guy scene, I'm through. I don't care if I am 33, at this point, it's useless. We get so focused on our jobs that romantic, passionate, and even kinky sex goes out the window, I'm too old to get by on looks, accomplishments are something that I shouldn't be judged by, I know, but sometimes it is all I've got, and I'm educated. It doesn't matter, though. I tried college dating and casual sex, it made me feel guilty and dirty. Sure, I want naughty sex, but I want it with someone I can come home to who needs and desires only me and vice versa. I tried making a 10 year commitment move to marriage, but I couldn't do it because I was a fool trying to salvage a relationship out of our years together, not a mutual love. I think I was the only one trying in the relationship.

I resorted to masturbation now and I now talk to girls in their 20s online who sympathize for me and, you guessed it, have really nice roleplays with me. It's not always cybersex, but it's involved in it. We create worlds together and it's been nice to get away from it all after a hard days work. I'm ashamed though, I am having more fun with a pseudo-relationship than I ever had with a real one. I love my job, I still go to it, I still do other hobbies and activities, but 3 hours a day, I am a college student, a detective, a rock star, a soldier in WWII, and etc online to women that make my desires come true. So, if it's not affecting my life in a major way, I don't know if I can really say this is normal or not. I'm not obsessed to the point of giving up all that makes me happy to spend all day on it, but I am noticing that I have more energy and joy in the following day after I have a roleplay with a girl online.