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Is it okay to meet someone and then start a family as soon as you know each other well enough? I don't have time to invest years in a relationship like I did before, just to see it disintegrate with nothing to show for it.
Nope. You'd be tied to that fucker fo' life. Sperm donor or bust or adopt.
You seem like a tard with impulse issues...maybe you should think twice about being a parent. Oh wait, you won't do that since you're seeking advice on actually procreating on fucking is it fucking normal fuuuuck
just be sure that is what the other person wants too. And if you are in a religious community, that would be much easier too
It can take years to know somebody well enough. If it's what you both want and plan everything together, then maybe.
If you just want to have kids for show, you're starting off on the wrong foot. A family should consist of two stable parents providing a stable home for their kids. While you can't always have the ideal situation, I agree, at least take the time to find out if your partner is mature enough to take on the responsibility of being a good father. It's not just your life you're talking about here
My daughter was conceived about three hours after I met her mother. We've been together for more than eleven years now.
From what you say, you've been in a long-term relationship, so some questions you should be asking yourself:
Are you clear precisely why that relationship ended? Do you understand where you went wrong? If you think it was all down to the other person, then think again. I don't believe both parties are always equally to blame when a relationship doesn't last, but there are usually failures on both sides. If nothing else, the "innocent" party is often guilty of wishful thinking and wilful blindness to the other person's faults at the very start. Do you have a good understanding of what people need to do to keep a relationship healthy and positive? Do you have a very clear idea of the sort of person you want to be with?
Do you understand why you want to have a child or children? Social pressure, the feeling that it's "just something that everyone does", or some vague gut-level yearning? I know it's pointless telling anyone this, but nobody who isn't a parent can truly understand what it's like. You only figure that out once you find yourself in that role, and then you learn it's nothing whatsoever like babysitting, having nieces, nephews, or younger brothers and sisters, what you see on TV or in movies, or what your friends with kids tell you it's like. It is really all-consuming and totally life-changing and, for better or worse, there's no going back.
So, yeah, based on my personal experience, it can be okay to meet someone and have a kid nine months later. That can work out, but both people need to embark on this journey with their eyes open and their feet on the ground. They both need to have their heads screwed on right, they need to be emotionally mature, they need to know how to communicate and they need to have practical stuff like housing and a reasonable income sorted out. They also need to understand that it would be unrealistic of them to expect that the relationship is going to be all hearts and flowers and rainbows and unicorns. That's not what married life with kids is like.
That doesn’t sound like something I’d want to rush. If you’re just wanting kids regardless of the relationship outcome, just be decent and warn the guy that’s your intention.