Fiancee is not listening in a literal way

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11 Comments

My fiancee never listens to me. It doesnt seem like the normal relationship kind, it seems on purpose. I will tell him to not come over to my house sometimes and he'll do it anyway. He does this thing a lot where he will show me a picture of something in a store he's in and asks if I want it. I'll say no but he buys it anyway. Idk if it's a listening problem anymore because he does the opposite of what I ask him. I come from an abusive family and it feels like gaslighting almost

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5% Normal
Based on 21 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • Ellenna
    4 years ago

    What do you do in these circumstances? For example, if he visits when you've asked him not to, do you tell him to go away? Do you refuse to accept something you've said you don't want him to buy you?

    It's very weird behaviour and seems to me to be controlling and disrespectful, but he's obviously getting something out of it, who knows what?

    Have you asked him outright why he does this?

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    • RoseIsabella
      4 years ago

      Spot on!

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    • AaaaaashtonKush
      4 years ago

      Well I straight up ask him to leave, which he will do but despite me telling him "hey dont do this" it never really goes through. I've talked to him about it today and we're going to talk about it more in the morning. And yes I also will refuse gifts too we are actually planning to return the thing he got me today. It's just frustrating because none of this would have happened if he would just listen. I dont even know if hes aware of what hes doing

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      • palehorse
        4 years ago

        Talk to him first and see how it goes. Some people are just really oblivious.

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        • AaaaaashtonKush
          4 years ago

          Yeah we talked more today and he said he would work on it more but we'll see.. what's weird is he will actually start to change the behavior but it seems to fall flat

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          • palehorse
            4 years ago

            If it starts to become a serious problem that you two can't resolve on your own, consider seeking couple's therapy. Good luck!

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  • momwatcher69
    4 years ago

    Hearing problem? Learning disability? Ignoring you intentionally?

    You'd BETTER figure this out, BEFORE you get married (if you do get married)

    Does he look you in the eyes, when you tell him "NO"? ... is he "all there"?

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  • bigbudchonga
    4 years ago

    What's wrong with his hearing?

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  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    Oh dear Lord, honey, why the Hell are you engaged to marry this guy?

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  • zarabell
    4 years ago

    he might be autism. but that is no excuse, make him listen. if you have a problem, and he can't understand it, and especially if he makes it worse, that is his fault.. as long as the communication is good, that is. if you can not communicate then how the fuck you even get that far in the relationship.. but if you can communicate, and you don't use that gift, then you are both to blame. just break up at that time

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  • Iszzy123
    4 years ago

    File for divorce now or later

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