Female raised by toxic masculinity
I was in grade 2 and I had this demon of a teacher. Whenever I started to cry, she shouted "stop crying, you have no reason to". Additionally, a good majority of the adults at that school told me to stop crying.
As soon as I transferred schools, it got a bit better. Although there was situations when adults would ask why I was crying. I would then wipe my tears away and say it was nothing. I did this as a reminder of what the adults were like at my old school.
I finished high school 3 years ago and still hold in my tears. I would tell myself "I'm in my mid 20s for god sakes! I have no reason to cry and show weakness for a minor issue!". Whenever I would cry, yes I would feel better. However I would also feel guilty and ashamed for doing such a "weak thing".
As a result of teachers and other adults teachers me that crying is weak; I now fear crying in front of others, and act tough/stubborn.