Feel normal, but i want to kill.

4 Comments

I'm 19 years old, I don't have a very stressful life and a very loving family. I connect well with people and have great friends. But still I feel as though I have someone else inside me that wants me to kill people. I never had a traumatic event happen in my life which could cause me to be a murderer. I just remember shooting a animal and staring at it while it slowly died staring in the eyes watching them slowly go out. I just want to watch the lights go out again. I keep imaging my first kill and how I would do it. I think the first person I ever imaged killing was in first grade when a kid shoved me down of a pole and I feel ten feet and I got really mad and wanted to stab him with my pencil (while the teachers where making sure I was okay). Will this pass or do I need help? I also view animals life much higher than mans. Hunting is different, but pets (my pets) I love, I don't like anyone's else's animals. Find them annoying and pesty.

Need Help? 8
Urge will go away? 2
Normal? 4
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Ilovewinter12
    10 years ago

    It depends. We would need a lot more info about you before we can any close answers, and even so, we're just normal people, we ain't therapists that are trained to help.
    (I recommend one, I know, they are a lot of money, but if you have welfare, or insurance, than I am sure there are places that will let you see a therapist for 'free.', free as in your insurance will cover it. I know this because I am going through the exact same thing.)

    Anyway, I just want you to know that you aren't the only person who thinks like that. I will admit, I have had thoughts like yours, killing people, animals,etc.
    I think that everyone has had murderous thoughts before, they just don't want to admit it. I think it's normal, especially when you're very angry at something.

    I think in a way, certain music or movies make me think like that, I mean, I'm not saying that music/movies will cause people to become killers, I'm sure a person can watch a very violent film, but can be a very happy person and positive person at the same time.

    I also have a hobby of watching stuff about serial killers, real ones, not fake ones, and I think perhaps in a way, this can also cause me to have violent daydreams.
    Maybe it's sorta a curiosity thing, like, " What would it be like to kill someone?" " How can a person murder so many people and not feel anything?"

    Perhaps not really the most healthy thoughts,
    but I feel assured with myself that I could never possibly actually kill a person in real life, let alone an animal (I love them too much.)

    However, if you strongly believe that you might kill someone, or an animal, then I recommend seeking help,
    rather it's a therapist, or a close family member, or preacher, ANYONE who you can trust.

    Trust me, you don't want to be a killer, it's not a happy or cool life, it always ends in failure and regret.
    I don't think anyone can actually get away with killing people now a days, they always get caught.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I would definitely seek some sort of help. Given what you've described, it's better to seek help before it is too late.

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  • Fall_leaves
    10 years ago

    I've been stabbed with a pencil before, I have a little heart shaped scar on my shoulder from it.

    Yep, you should get some help. It sounds like you want to make a hobby out of killing people. I personally feel like a little part of my soul dies everytime I kill a bug.

    I think its kind of like how some parents love their own kids but see other kids as Satans spawn.

    Just curious how would you kill your first victim? And what would you do to cover up your tracks?

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  • dickwashington
    10 years ago

    start by killing your self freak

    sorry but what you said about watching an animal slowly die made me sick

    FUCK YOU!

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