Fear of my grandmother's dead body.

Ok, this is real!!!It's been 3 years now since my grandmother died. When i was in the funeral nor only I couldn't believe what was happening, I was into a very deep denial of the situation, in some moments it felt like a dream, like it wasn't real and just to make it worst I was surrounded by people of course but the only thought of being alone in there with her corpse would provoque a panic that If I tried to express it would look like it's too much ...I dont't even have the words to expplain it. I still have to figure this out... Is it normal to feel this way?