Fear of gay sex

I'm 24 years old. I have had sex with men a handful of times, and its been over a year now. Never been in a relationship either. I just have so much anxiety about it. I fear the smell, or sh*t etc while being f**ked...i don't know it's just all too much to bare. I'm very good looking and have many advances, mostly by straight men, yet I don't encourage it because of this stupid fears. I've tried anal douches, bottles of water etc. Can't bring myself to feel like I am totally clean and ready for someones mouth and c*ck there! What do I do to overcome this and have a normal sex life??