Father gets angry when money is not given to him

26% Normal
8 Comments

I have both living parents, one is 75 and the other 77. Both have made seriously bad financial decisions in their life and they now live on social security. They live in a nice home, safe, well maintained and they rent. After all of their expenses they have close to $800 left in their account for co-pays, food, etc.

Well, for about 20 years not (embarrassingly), I've been helping them monthly anywhere from $200 to $500 per month. Still, every month, even with help, they are broke. In fact, days after they receive their check, they are broke. So, every month they live broke for 3 weeks because my father can't manage money.

Recently, I didn't have the money to give him. So now, he is angry. He is nasty to me and isn't talking to me. I am the oldest sibling and I feel like I've been used. He said to me "you said you would help" but I've realized helping is enabling and now this situation has blown up.

Christmas is coming and I usually pay for Christmas eve dinner which is in the $300 range. Money doesn't grow on trees for me. In fact, my parents have hurt me financially for years and they don't care. My other siblings do not help them because they are also struggling financially. I don't think I am going to Christmas eve dinner because I really feel used.

Question, is it normal for my father to be angry and do you think he has a clue what he is doing by being angry at me for not giving him money? By the way, when checking his account he has over $200 to last him 3 days. When I decided not to send money earlier this month I checked his account and he had well over $260.00. I had under $100 and I explained that to him. It didn't matter.

Your thoughts?

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26% Normal
Based on 35 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • valisque
    10 years ago

    Dude honestly you might want them to wallow in the consequences of their actions for a while. Nothing will change this way. Same method, same result.

    They need to learn how to appreciate you and the only way for that to happen is to realise just how desperately they need you. Take time away from them and your lazy sis, and spend the money *you* work for, on stuff *you* need or want, And live your life worrying about *your* well being.

    Lord know's you'd be much further off right now if you ate every cent you made your way. leave your phone off the hook and let them earn their own living for a bit. Your sister especially. She doesn't have an escuse.

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    • mollymae22
      10 years ago

      Well, I took out a life insurance policy on each of them so when they pass I'll at least get back some of the money I've given over the years.

      I had to make the investment being they promised to pay back when they sold their home...... NOT.

      LOL..... I'm just going on my way. I'm keeping all of my money from this point forward unless it involves death or blindness...

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    What does your father waste all his money on? Does he have a gambling problem or an addiction to drugs or alcohol? He does sound like a very selfish and entitled person. It's normal for people with personal problems to blame others for their place in life. But, I don't think you owe him anything and I agree with your statements that you're possibly enabling him. I think it's time for some sort of intervention.

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    • mollymae22
      10 years ago

      They spend a large portion of their money on food. They don't eat much but my mother has to have a full cubbard and refrig. with food at all times or she is unhappy. They also give money to my lazy sister who is on fake disability. It's terrible.

      Either way he is still not speaking with me and I believe I am done. I'm done feeling bad about myself because I can't take care of them (completely) and I'm tired of watching every penny God forbid I have a few extra dollars.

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      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        What is "fake" disability?

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        • mollymae22
          10 years ago

          When people "find" illnesses to claim disability. For instance, my sister suffers from "headaches" and "depression". In other words, she is lazy. She lived with my parents until she was 45 and now claims disability because she "can't" work. She can work, she takes at least 4-5 vacations a year, uses my parents car, etc. That's why I say "fake" disability. She is no more disabled than I am. She just plays the system.

          My parents have encouraged her to do so and give her extra money when she lies to them about being broke. Every time she takes money she somehow goes away on vacation. My folks don't seem to notice that.

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          • robbieforgotpw
            10 years ago

            A lot of people are gaming the system on "fake disability". We've become the land of the handout. The takers outnumber the productive workers in this once exceptional nation

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  • [email protected]
    10 years ago

    Tell the asshole not to live beyond his means.

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