Fat fetish: is it normal to want my boyfriend to gain weight?

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10 Comments

I have a bit of a fat fetish. Not too big, but enough to have a tummy. I know this isn't common, and is mostly considered abnormal. My boyfriend is really just thick, he has a tummy and beautiful love handles, which I love almost more than his... package. I just love to rub my hands on his soft tummy and love handles and I'm so tempted to just dive in and squeeze him all over but he wouldn't like that one bit. The problem is that he hates his body and he constantly talks about how much he hates looking in the mirror but wont work out and can't eat healthy because he lives with his family. In fact hes gained a little weight in the time we've been together (but we are long distance, 8 months).

My problem is that I want him to gain more (10 lbs). I feel so conflicted and gross... I just hoped that my support and loving his body in any shape or size would help him to accept himself but so far its not working out that way. I know it isn't my right to force him to gain weight and I'd never actually force him, but when we eat together I find myself eating more and unhealthy foods to kinda coax him to eat more and whatever I don't eat I offer to him. I feel really bad about this, but he hasn't noticed. I really don't want to force him into anything, but it would be really nice.

I sadly have not told him yet about my fetish and I probably will when hes more comfortable with himself. For those of you that may respond with why don't I gain the weight, I currently sadly have a job that requires me to be in good physical shape, plus I have a high metabolism so nothing sticks to me.

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64% Normal
Based on 22 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    The fetish itself is OK, but manipulating him into eating more so he'll gain weight is NOT OK.

    Why can't he eat healthily and work out even while living with his family? You're both being dishonest: you with him and him with himself

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      For the record I think the fettish honestly has to do more with my own weight gain but it's like society is stopping me from wanting to actually partake in it. I wouldn't mind telling him this part of the fettish at least moreso than me wanting him to gain a little but as I said that's more of an urge and impulse and I don't feel like that's what I'd really want to ever put him through, unless he was wholeheartedly for it. I just feel so conflicted.

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      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        You definitely are confused! Yr original post said that when you eat out with him you order unhealthy food to try and get him fatter, now you say you don't do that?

        How old is this person? Old enough to learn to cook healthy food for himself and his family? They'd probably appreciate it if they're both at work. Even a couple of meals a week might make a difference to the whole family's unhealthy eating habits. If he can't do that and he won't even walk daily for exercise this is a lost cause

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Nah not out in his home because it's all he has. Their freezer is filled with chicken nuggets and fridge has bread, no cold cuts, and cerial. If we go out its sushi but that's a rare occasion. He's 21, going to college but living from home as its cheaper. He pays for it himself and has car payments so he really doesn't have the money to purchase food on his own. The thing is is when I do go food shopping with him (his parents give us their card), I suggest getting vegetables and pasta but then he goes on and picks potato chips and a cheese dip and his siblings and himself always say they need to get a desert for their dad. Need to. Like it's imperative. When clearly none of them need it. Ive also asked him if we could do food shopping together and make a really nice meal and impress his parents but he always declines (he hates his parents and being home so he doesn't want to make dinner for them as they have made his life kind of a living hell). I've tried the healthy route and I don't know my thing is just stupid. As I said it's like an urge. Like in the back of my mind that I want it but I know I never should and I should never do it and never indulge in it. It seems like I'd never even need to coax him anyway at this point but i do want to help him but it feels like ive tried everything. And the food coax part in the begining was mainly because he's self conscious about his weight and was eating barely anything in front of me and I was worried that he might of even been anorexic at that point with no eating. And I mean i don't want my food to go to waste and he gladly takes it. We generally have one plate of food and then eat from it together.

          And for the record when he did gain weight that was over a 2 month period that I didn't see him and when he visited at colege it was really a nice surprise on my part and that's how I realized that I actually like this. And that was 3 months ago.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      He lives in the middle of nowhere so there's no gym. Also his whole family is moderately obese so it's in his genetics (although he has a clean bill of health). His family buys take out generally or microwave chicken nuggets because both the parents are out working odd hours and takeout is easier and faster (which I don't agree with). My boyfriend doesn't have money currently to buy his own meals.

      I'm really into fitness actually despite my fixations as well which is why I'm more conflicted. And yea I've decided to not ever pressure him into gaining weight. I have actually tried helping him loose weight with joining me at a yoga class or one of those fitness versions of drinking games for shows bet he's never interested. We try to eat healthy when together but I eat healthy all the time when I'm not with him and when I am with him it's like he only has unhealthy foods available and then I go on and munch on 5 cookies. It's like I'm too comfortable around him.

      I just really want him to be happy but he has no urge or motivation to help himself. We do go on nature walks though. But that's probably his only exercise and we see eachother once a month. I just feel like I can't control this stupid urge to love his fat. I mean i don't really want him to gain. I guess I just want him to accept himself. And in turn let me play with the chub he currently has. I say "let" because I don't want to hurt him by embracing it too much if he doesn't love himself.

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  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    I'm sure if you told him you were into it he's be a lot more okay with it.

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  • stopandthink
    8 years ago

    Gaining weight is in no way going to be good for him; and partners want the best for eachother right?
    I don't know if it's normal you want him to go through a disease, because that's what obesity is.
    You said yourself he doesn't like being chubby so you should support him in losing weight.

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  • Bobtailcatgirl
    5 years ago

    That's unhealthy you're signing his death warrant

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  • Goomats
    8 years ago

    Wow. This is all sorts of tricky. My boyfriend threatens to lose weight but lucky for me, he never does. He goes to the gym yet he just gets fatter. Now I've never been a feeder or anyhting, but I don't know what I would do if my boyfriend actually GOT skinnier.
    Now has your BF lost any weight or is it all talk? If it's all talk, just let it go in one ear and out the other. Everyone is right, you should not over-feed him, maybe don't expect him to gain 10 lbs. but just try to keep him the size he is.

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  • kittykat5
    8 years ago

    Fine you like people it doesn't mean u should make UR bf gain weight

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