Fancying my ex’s ex boyfriend with age gap and child (help)

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47 Comments

So here’s my situation:

I’m a 22-year-old bi guy and 2 months ago I broke up with my (now ex) girlfriend Amber (24-years-old). We were together nearly 8 months during which she told me she had a lot of ex boyfriends, one of whom was called Brandon.

Now just after the break up I went on a bit of a partying binge and one night met this cute 6”3 blond guy, we smoked together, he told me his name was Brandon but being drunk and high I thought nothing of it and I added him on snap and insta.

Brandon and I kept talking and hanging out, which turned to flirting and... some other stuff until I found out - you guessed it - he’s Amber’s ex.

As if that wasn’t complicated enough he’s 29 and has an 11-year-old child (who doesn’t live with him) with a girl he dated long before Amber (well, obviously).

I still really like him and want him to be my boyfriend though, he lets me be myself where as my exes saw me as a “project guy”. But is it a bit weird if I, well, bang the same guy Amber used to bang? Also is 22 too young to date a 29-year-old dad?

Help me out please!

Voting Results
91% Normal
Based on 11 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 47 )
  • Jpiper1
    4 years ago

    Age has nothing to do with it age is in the mind and it's not like you went looking g for him just go with it and see where things go

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      You're right - I didn’t chose the drama life the drama life chose me! In a weird way it kinda makes sense that Brandon and I like eachother, I mean we both liked Amber for similar reasons, we have so much in common and the same weird sense of humour.

      I guess 7 years isn’t really that long, I’ve just never dated someone more than a year or 2 away from my age before.

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  • UselessTrash2
    4 years ago

    The "age-gap" isn't a big deal at all, and as long as both of you are cool with sharing an ex then I say go for it.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Yeah, he doesn’t seem to mind about Amber but they broke up over a year ago so I guess it’s ancient history to him. According to insta she has a new boyfriend already so I doubt she’s gonna get that upset if I date Brandon.

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  • litelander8
    4 years ago

    Aside from the drama, I find parents who aren't at their child's side, repulsive. No matter the situation.

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    • UselessTrash2
      4 years ago

      As someone who never saw her parents in her childhood (left me with grandparents), I'm actually happy about that. As they were druggies and I'm glad I didn't have to grow up around it. Sometimes it's the best for parents to not be involved.

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      • litelander8
        4 years ago

        For sure! You're parents sucked. But that's my point. And I'm glad you had more family to care for you. My grandparents were my best friends.

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    • Clunk42
      4 years ago

      What if the parents are dead? What if they live in a crappy country and the parents can only afford for the children to leave?

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      • litelander8
        4 years ago

        Any reasonable person would relocate to be with their kids. Kids are fucking expensive. I have two and I can't imagine not having a home for them to come to. It's a parents job to do so. Anything else is an excuse to me. Sure, there are some exceptions. I've never heard a sob story that couldn't be helped by working harder.

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        • Clunk42
          4 years ago

          *cough* Communism *cough*

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          • litelander8
            4 years ago

            Communism keeps parents from their kids..? I don't think I see your point.

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            • Clunk42
              4 years ago

              You claim "I've never heard a sob story that couldn't be helped by working harder." What about if a family lives in a crappy communist country that is going through horrifically hard times, so the parents send their children to a better place, where they'll be treated better. So, essentially, Operation Pedro Pan.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        4 years ago

        True Clunk42! Also we’re getting way off topic here, what do you think about my actual situation with Brandon- is it weird or am I over-thinking?

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        • litelander8
          4 years ago

          I was just saying a way a person parents is a deal breaker for me. That's all. ☺️

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            4 years ago

            He is a good dad, my concern is if I’m ready to DATE a 29-year-old dad who I share an ex with.

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            • litelander8
              4 years ago

              I'm not big on rattling on, on IIN. I'm going to cap this question off by referring back to the child. Y'all need to see eachother as a couple without any involvement of the child except for friend only relationship, and see if it works. It's so bad for a child to watch relationship after relationship to fail. It just sets a bad example for the child. Best of luck.

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            • Clunk42
              4 years ago

              I don't think it matters if he shares an ex with you. The age gap doesn't matter. If you think his child won't be a problem, it should be fine. I wouldn't date him, though, but not for any of the reasons you've mentioned.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      He still sees her but she lives with her mum. Idk the full details but he’s not a deadbeat dad.

      Does that change your mind on what I should do?

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      • litelander8
        4 years ago

        Nope. A parent should be able to provide a home for their kids. I've heard way to many "babydaddy" excuses, which can also come from women.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          4 years ago

          She has a home with her mum and he says he pays child maintenance and I know he sees her regularly. Are you saying Brandon should move in with his baby mama who he doesn’t love?

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          • litelander8
            4 years ago

            He should provide his child with a proper home... Period.

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  • DIO
    4 years ago

    Everybody is someone's ex at some point. You shouldn't let this stop you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      True, I guess if I drew out a big spider-web map of my exes and their exes and their exes exes I’d cover everyone I know eventually. Hell I’d need an A3 sheet for Amber’s relationships alone 😂😂😂

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  • Mammal-lover
    4 years ago

    Go for it. You've both fucked the samd girl now fuck each other go full circle. It's only srong when hes a ex if a bestfriend or relative. Btw yalls dont have a age gap

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Haha, full circle! They’re far from best friends, they haven’t spoken in ages.

      No-one seems to really care about his age on here, I think I viewed him as older because he has an 11-year-old but you’re right 7 years isn’t an insane gap. Cheers mate.

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  • Jennifer21
    4 years ago

    Age should not be a problem. Go for it! (Have you considered a threesome?)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      With Brandon and Amber? That would be so fucking awkward man. Amber and I are “still friends” but her and Brandon haven’t talked in over a year and I got the impression she kinda hates him.

      Also according to insta she already has a new boyfriend who looks old as fuck, would she want him to bring his shrivelled dick along? Why am I thinking about this?

      Basically Jennifer - threesome is a no. But I think you’re right about the age difference, it’s not like he’s 50.

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      • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
        4 years ago

        29 and 22 isnt bad. Both are in their 20s.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          4 years ago

          I need to keep telling myself that. His kid was born when I was 11 though- that’s the crazy part.

          If things go well she could end up being 16 with a 27-year-old step-dad... not that I’m getting ahead of myself at all!

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          • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
            4 years ago

            You could have a threesome with her and the mom one day.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              4 years ago

              Wow, just, wow that is actually beyond fucked up are you sure you’re ok man?

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