Family member wants the plug pulled on them but you won't allow it?

If she was sure she wanted it, with no mixed messages and seemed totally certain and conclusive, I'd do it. Personally, I'd feel selfish if I didn't, but I don't know your exact situation.

If she is definitely (I mean DEFINITELY) going to recover COMPLETELY, then it depends how long it would take. Years? Months? Just a couple of weeks? If she was going to be in years of pain I'd honour her wish; if she only had a month or so I'd let her suffer so she could eventually get better.

Surely there are professionals you can talk to about this sort of thing? I suggest you see one. They can't tell you what to do, but they can shed some light on what most people do and what most doctors think is best.

Also, I haven't been in this situation. I might, nay, would think completely differently if this happened to me.

I can't say for sure what I'd do in that situation, but wishes should be granted. Easy to say from here though

just let her die, a fast death is better than a slower one in pain!

10 more surgeries? that sounds like fun. /sarc My opinion is that you should respect her wish to pass away.

If you've ever experienced any kind of long-term pain, you'd know death is much more preferable.

I used to have agonizing abdominal cramps that'd last for days, I've experienced migraines, I've had really severe flues, with fever and joint pain and during those times I felt if I had to endure that pain for months or years then I'd prefer death.

I'd even consider ending my life if I lost my eye-sight or the use of my limbs. Sometimes being in a severe depression with no hope of improvement is reasonable justification in my view.

Just keep in mind there are worse things than death, just ask anyone who'd experienced torture at the hands of evil people like Al Qaeda. How is that any different than the torture one experiences from disease?

Do you mean truly physically, that you can switch off machines and she will die?

I have been in this position last year and I withdrew treatment from my dad. He had cancer and would have died in terrible pain so I had to let him get out of here peacefully.

I can tell you that even though I knew it was the only thing to do, I still feel terribly guilty.

I am sure that your mother would not be offered further surgery if her condition was terminal like my dad's. If this is the case, your mother may just be depressed at the moment and you need to be strong to help her get through this period of time - until she gets her normal personality back.

Good luck.

This is an awfully hot ethics topic. I assume you are well aware of both sides of the argument so I will just state mine.

If she is mentally stable, the choice is hers to make.

Has she attempted suicide?

Well what if it was you, stuck and in extreme pain and you were ready to pass on? Would you want your children to be selfish and keep you in misery and pain, or would you want them to honor your wish?