Falling in love with one's stepchild

I am responding to the blogs I have read today about stepfather's who lust after, even fall in love with, their stepdaughters. I do think that our sexual nature has within it this challenge of feeling attracted to a stepchild who is reaching sexual maturity, and who has become a very attractive and endearing young person. Here is where I feel, it is within each person to deal with themselves on this issue, as the adult, mature human being one is, but simply putting one's mind on a diet, so to speak. This is the kind of problem that can wreak havoc within a family structure.

I do think this is a pitfall of human nature, that our sexual nature makes us pretty much drawn all of our lives to everyone who is even remotely attractive to us. It makes monogamy and faithfulness a challenging commitment for everyone. I think every single person ever has had feelings towards another person while being with someone else. This, however, involves the being a parent; and that is a boundary that a person within themselves needs to honor. There are internal boundaries that we can simply put on ourselves which basically say to ourselves that is against our own moral and healthy value system.

I read years back that within a marriage, you must not do something which you cannot openly share with your partner. Otherwise, you are beginning to be unfaithful in small ways, which can lead to actually being unfaithful completely. There are boundaries I know that within my marriage I must consider because doing things without openness breeds this kind of obsession. This definitely is an obsession that is unhealthy for all considered, though, it probably happens a great deal. It is only when the person thinks it means something, and gives it some significance, this could fester and grow.

Health to all and good thoughts. Cindy McBeth

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Comments ( 9 )
  • LovingTogether

    Oh boy. My husband and I are (learned) bisexuals and we began to have sex with other couples and married singles who are non-smokers 35 years ago. We both enjoy sex and "cheat together." We are always together whether we're doing it with a woman, man or couple. We have been married 57 years and are very much in love, and we love many of our intimates!

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  • PoisonFlowers

    You've put it very well.
    "I do think this is a pitfall of human nature, that our sexual nature makes us pretty much drawn all of our lives to everyone who is even remotely attractive to us" - this is something I think all of the time.

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    • Kassidy363

      Yea, it is nicely put.
      That's sick and can result in mental scarring and sickness laster on in life. I think that's illegal..?

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  • Yeah - its a big boundary issue. The line is really crossed when that involves a minor and you are in a position of trust as a step-parent.

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  • sparklepop

    I think it's disgusting when stepfathers lust after their stepdaughters. I know someone that was raped and molested by her stepfather and her mother didn't believe her. It's wrong just like a father fancying his daughter would be. Fathers are supposed to protect and care for their children, that is a completely different kind of love.

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  • theanswerisprobablynotnormal

    I think incest is bad. I mean the kid probably doesn't get a say in it, will end up being perverted, or just tormented by others.
    But then again back in the day cousins were marrying each other.

    Is there a law regarding incest?

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  • ChemGirl

    Wow! Crazy comments! And understandable, because no one knows the details.

    How old is the step-kid ?

    How long have you been married ? Have you ever loved your parter ? If so, in what way ?

    Is your stepchild closer to your age ?

    No matter what the answers are, it is OK to feel however you feel. Feeling is not wrong, EVER. It is HOW YOU ACT on it that matters. Be mature. As long as this person is not a minor or is unwilling, it is ok. Just consider the consequences.

    If your step-child is of legal age, consider how a relationship would affect both of you. You are married, so consider how it would effect you partner. BUT DON'T EVER STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP out of OBLIGATION !!!

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  • langdontrafford

    It's hard to say

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  • Mechastar

    you are a disgusting woman... but that's pretty hot >:)

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