Excessive masturbation?

Hi!

I’m a first year university student and I’ve never had a boyfriend before due to being focused on my studies.

I often fantasize about hooking up with a guy and letting him do me over and over, but at the same time it feels wrong (yes, I am a virgin due to not wanting relationships at the moment), so I end up masturbating all day to these thoughts...

I wonder if this excessive masturbation is excessive or just normal for girls around 20?

It kind of seem like an addiction...

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 15 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • KholatKhult

    Your sex drive shouldn’t feel compulsive, nagging, or overburdening. You can either learn to comfortably live with a high sex drive through some impulse control work or put your efforts into relaxing yourself out to a pace that is more manageable.

    Some people are happy with a high drive and others are happy with a low one, but the goal for either one should be to be able to handle it in a controllable and fulfilling way. There’s no real “normal” level for a drive, just a range that’s different for everyone

    Because you’re seeming as though it bothers you and you’re describing it as “excessive” and “like an addiction”, you should try to slow it down, there are a good amount of articles out there about managing arousal. Porn will directly damage you. Some people will argue with me about this, but I don’t believe there is any “healthy” porn habit.

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  • Boojum

    If you are are literally 'masturbating all day' as you claim, then it sounds to me like you have just as much of a problem as you would have if you were eating all day, playing some video game all day, working out in the gym all day, or doing anything else to the exclusion of all other activities.

    Libido (horniness) varies a lot between people. Research indicates that women are - on average - less interested in sex than men, but you're not some hypothetical average woman. You're you.

    Researchers have concluded that sexual desire (just like sexual orientation) can best be described as a spectrum. If you're being honest in your OP, then it sounds like you're over towards the 'uber-horny' end of that spectrum. Odds are, there's another young woman in your class who's interest in sex is set at the 'thinking of sex makes me vomit' end of the spectrum, while most of the women you see around you will be somewhere between you two. That's just the way averages work.

    You, the 'sex is yucky' woman, and every other woman are all normal, because you all happen to be wired up the way you are. But problems arise if the way we happen to be wired up conflicts with what we believe we _should_ want, social pressures on us to behave in a certain way, and the demands on our time and energy.

    It might be helpful for you to think of what you're experiencing as a conflict between the more or less rational part of your brain and your lizard brain - the part of our brain that we've inherited from our ancient evolutionary ancestors that makes us feel atavistic urges to stuff ourselves with tasty food, attack anyone who annoys us and mate. The logical, sensible part of your brain keeps preaching that you're behaving in a way that isn't socially acceptable and isn't helping you towards the goals you should be pursuing, while your lizard brain keeps shrieking that all that is BS and it's time for you to reproduce.

    I can't tell you how to resolve this conflict. But I do firmly believe that masturbation is only excessive when it becomes and obsession and starts to screw up the rest of our lives. It's not physically harmful in any way, and I think you're very fortunate to be so in touch with your sexual side. A disturbing percentage of women never figure out how to make themselves orgasm, often because they're too sexually inhibited to ever explore 'down there'. If you know what you physically need to reach orgasm, it's much more likely that you will at some point really enjoy sex with another person.

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  • 1WeirdGuy

    Hmm MarathonMasturbation would be a catchy username

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  • RoseIsabella

    You might be addicted to self-gratification.

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  • fatok

    You don't need a relationship. Open those thighs up and have a little fun. Nothing wrong with one night stands

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