Everyday with my family is slow torture!

92% Normal
7 Comments

I am an first generation American born Chinese. I love my family, but they don't seem to get that what works in China (values, views, and other cultural aspects) don't necessary translate well to their Western born children. I am absolutely SICK of being seen as a cash cow and constantly reminded to make money to support the family. I dislike the cattiness, pettiness, stubbornness, ignorance, rudeness and no consideration for others my family has. I get berated every time I criticize China (especially Mao's political policies!). I think "saving face" is stupid as hell, and should not dictate one's actions or motivations. I would never want to live extensively in China. I would rather walk across a river of hot coals!

Is it normal to want to want to escape from my Chinese family and move far far away?

Voting Results
92% Normal
Based on 65 votes (60 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • detroitlove81
    12 years ago

    OP, Do not that Hauntinghour's advice. It will go over like a lead balloon if you do...

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  • theabider
    12 years ago

    Yes, this is SO totally normal. My dad is Chinese, my mom American, and I know exactly what you are talking about!!! I am in China right now and I cannot stand it!!! grrrrr

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  • icantthinkofausername
    11 years ago

    I can't relate to the whole "Chinese-American family" deal, but I can relate to the "wanting-to-get-away-from-your-family" bit. Sometimes my family pisses me off so much, and I'm nearing my high school graduation, so I think now more than ever I'm getting anxious to leave my family (and my stupidly small town).

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Im sorry, i hate that you ad many people bite thier tongues, just pick your battles as to what you decide to stand for. You could record your self the date, and the problem that occured the soonest you discretly can, then listen at the end of the week or month, when you listen to your reaction make sure your not under reacting or over reacting.

    As for escaping a good escape plan has never been hasty, if they will cut you off finacially socially, etc plan accordingly. Let family friends that share your opinions, that its been difficult for you lately and you enjoy them. Creating Failsafes will help so your not "outted" or "cold shouldered" Manage your finances and whatever you are entitled to, and can legally take, CLAIM IT and leave because sometimes inheritance has to be dipped into, for education, to better your chances. And what I try to do is remember one day I will be the Matriarch... and i will remember the misery, and try to be fair, loving and kind, and understanding.

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  • TotalFreak
    12 years ago

    Totally normal. I'm chinese but my mom is very liberal. I can't stand other chinese either.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Normal. Try talking to them.

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  • AngAnders112
    12 years ago

    one day they'll be dead and you'll miss them and their old fashion ways :(

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