Even though my life is good, i still feel suicidal

40% Normal
11 Comments

What an absolutely insane life I have. When I was a teen, I never fit in. I was a nerd, but I was never suicidal. I kept trying, and I learned to fit in. Then in my adult years, I began to have epilepsy (not the frothing at the mouth kind). I have been blessed with a good job, education, talents, appearance and personality. I even played on the radio live last week. But every week or two I have a seizure where basically I forget who I am. Afterward is even worse; the feeling lingers, and I can become hysterical. I hold my head and wail. My mother holds me even though I'm in my thirties...she tries to calm me. "I can't live anymore," I cry. "I'm doomed." I truly feel doomed. I truly feel that the end of my life is soon. The seizures I have are so horrifying, all the blessings and goodness in my life are not worth the pain of having these seizures. Isn't that insane? I love my life!!! But right after a seizure I would take a gun and blow my brains out, and I'm not kidding.

Voting Results
40% Normal
Based on 78 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • Shadyx8
    13 years ago

    Try talking to a docter about getting anti psychotic medication, it may help with your seizers.

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  • House
    13 years ago

    GET HELP!!!ASAP!

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  • beerdrinkingdude
    8 years ago

    Go see a doctor. If you have a faith, talk to the people of your faith.
    Don't hold this in. Talk to the people in your life. Don't let this weight burden you.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Holy shit!

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  • ieatrocksdirt
    14 years ago

    im sorry you have to go thru that its one of lifes lessons i guess you just have to take it and try to deal with it the best you can is there nothing you can do for the seizures? just be glad your mom is there to help you thru it.

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  • LoPro
    14 years ago

    Hey man, my one friend went through something like this after he did shrooms one time. He never did a drug in his entire life until that day and every day after for a year or two he would have anxiety attacks and want to kill himself. He couldn't be left alone because he would start thinking about death and if freaked him out. He was a Christian as well and wondered why the heck God would do something like him, but in the end he knew it was all for a reason and it made him stronger in life. Although I would love to tell you a bunch of junk about what happened and what he went through and how it ended, I feel like it would take way too long on here. Why don't you email me and we can talk about it? My email is [email protected]

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  • StalinsFakeCat
    14 years ago

    I, Joseph Stalin. Is very concerned for the people living under democratic western ideals. They seem to be weakening your minds, here in the motherland only the strong prevail. The weak are sent to the gulags or tractor factories to work. The strong become doctors and teachers.

    The weak embarrass the motherland, Lenin would be spinning in his grave if someone such as yourself would be allowed out of a gulag.

    For my soldiers and generals, if they felt suicidal I would shoot them myself. The coward dogs.

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    • Ichigo_Ni
      14 years ago

      Get off it, this place is to help. If you just want to degrade people get your sorry ass OFF here and quick or blow yourself up, if you need to degrade someone to feel better, you are to be pitied.!

      To the author of this fear: It's absolutely normal with all you been trough. All we can say though is: Don't give up, keep fighting. It can be hard and difficult, but keep thinking "I can do it" and keep repeating that till you feel you can whenever you had a seizure. Best of strength.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      14 years ago

      Thanks, Stalin. That really helped. What's a gulag?

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      • StalinsFakeCat
        14 years ago

        A place you'll never want to be.

        I think you western pigs call them... labour camps/prisons.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          14 years ago

          Oh, like in the Bolshevik revolution of 1917-1918 under Lenin? When the proletariat overthrew the bourgeoise class and committed the first recorded act of genocide in human history? I think about 250,000 were murdered under the guise of Marxism? But it was actually despotism veiled as 'dictatorship of the proletariat,' even though the farmers (Soviets) never had any actual power. You were just an easy excuse for Lenin to set up totalitarian rule for the next 70 years. No, I wouldn't want to be at Dachau either...

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