Even though he cheated.

36% Normal
12 Comments

I found out that my live in boyfriend of three years (his 5yr old daughter part time lives with us)cheated on me with a girl at work. He met me at work and the kid's mom too. I am 21 he is 28. When we first started dating he broke up with me because of my age. The girl he cheated with is younger than me. I have had non-stop time to think about it. I kicked him out so I could be alone with my thoughts. Now I've been, and I know I want to stay and go to couples therapy. I am trying make him sweat it out, but it's hard because I have already made my decision. I am ready to talk. He has already admitted to it and is sorry. He isn't ready to talk about the next step. Is it normal for him to need time to think about his cheating?

Voting Results
36% Normal
Based on 44 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • mtnw
    14 years ago

    don't take him back. you deserve better

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    If he has cheated on you why stay with him? He will do it again.

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  • kellstar
    13 years ago

    Sounds like an arse! And even though u r younger than he is, u sound way more mature! Dont let him him call u ugly, fat or anything else! Find someone who will treat u right!

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    So that's 3 women met at work. When he met you at work, was he with the mother of their child, or were they separated & with no strings attached, beyond child support/visitation? I'm guessing the former.

    Were I in your shoes, they'd be walking. You are young and this guy seems untrustworthy and loaded with baggage already.

    I agree with the above comments, especially his commitment if you go into therapy. For you the question may also be why you feel undeserving of anything better.

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    • Pilot
      13 years ago

      She's young and un-protected. He see's her as bait and I'm expecting; myself being a dude he's using her emotionally. If she takes him back he'll control her sexually through manipulation.

      Your response is good and I hope she finds the strength to let go or control of her own emotion not needing to be validated by this guy who obviously see's his identity as a penis.

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    • kxhamer
      14 years ago

      You are correct that he was separated from her for over two years. He had her half the time but still paid child support. He says he hates the mom now because when I came into the picture of course Jennifer (the mom) took the kid away for half a year and made him go to court to see her.

      Although I am young, I have never been one to act my age, that is, I am more mature. I feel like I sound like I'm gloating. That is not my intent. Let's put it this way, when I was in grade school my friend's mothers always had more in common with me than their kids.
      The point I am attempting to make is I want an adult lifestyle. I have no debt and pay my bills. I have a decent paying job. I am in school. I cry when people and animals get hurt. I feel like I am a good person.

      Lately we've been having problems tho. Last year he told me he was starting to find me unattractive and said,"You remind me of one of those nasty fat girls from high school..." This whole thing is so unreal.

      I am highlighting the details of the negative. For every down between us there is an equal up. I love him. I want him in my life, and I want his daughter in my life. I will post when something happens just to let you all know the outcome. Thank you so so much. I appreciate that you took time out to address my concerns.

      F

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Was he in a relationship when he met you?
    Maybe he's a serial cheater.

    Nobody asks for more time to consider their own cheating. Seriously, when you were a kid and were sent to your room to think about what you did wrong, did you actually sit in your room for hours pining over your transgressions? Or did you sit there thinking about how unfair being stuck in your room was and how you could worm your way out of trouble the fastest?

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  • thehollywood
    14 years ago

    Its normal for him to need to time to make up reasons why he cheated besides the simple fact he is a cheater! I know it is tough but dont give into him and if you do make sure he is really serious about committing and is willing to do therapy.

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  • 1000yrVampireKing
    11 years ago

    First he is only using the age as a reason to cheat on you because if he is 21 and you 28 that is just bull. Also you already kicked him out so do not let him back in. If he found you at work and his child's mother at work he is going his rounds at work. He is going to continue to cheat and you are going to stay miserable. He is a horrible dad and a horrible man if he can not learn to keep his dick in his pants. Leave him right now.

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  • Mg3
    13 years ago

    He dumped u 4 ur age he is older than u

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Everyone cheats, we are human. I haven't yet, but i owe someone big time already ;) Your problem is his job as well. To make it work out, he needs to leave that job and stay away from her, or he will be banging her at lunch time, on the way home, before work, ect.... Like a druggy recovering, you need to change the environment!

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    well he cheated dont take him back he shouldent have time to think about y he cheated becaus he cheated either for thrill he just dident love you anymore dont give cheaters chances theyl break your heart (said with expierience)(yet i am only 11)

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