Ask Your Question today
So I'm going through some heavy thoughts lately. Been feeling very emotionally cheated. I never expected such simple behaviour would hurt so much from an ex.
So I decided to cast a poll. What do you think is worse in a relationship? Emotional cheating, or just outright having sex with someone?
| Emotional | 7 | |
| Physical | 10 | |
| They're both the same | 10 |
I think physical cheating is worse because it's black and white while with emotional cheating there is a lot of grey area.
I agree with cœur. I think romantic feelings can sometimes creep up on people for example when platonic friends develop deeper feelings for each other (even if already in a relationship with someone else) In the realm of emotions there are no real boundaries. When this turns physical, however, it clearly becomes cheating and is an active betrayal of trust.
Speaking from experience here, since I've actually had a few serious relationships in my lifetime (and I'm not a virgin like half the people on this website giving relationship advice), and I've been cheated on.
Physical cheating is way, way worse!
There is such a huge difference! I could handle knowing my boyfriend/spouse had the hots for someone else, but knowing they fucked someone else made me puke in reaction to finding out.
I remember this comment and a subsequent story that was made in response to it.
I've been going over my old comments and even though it's five months past due, I owe you and all IIN virgins an apology.
When I wrote ^that, in particular the first paragraph, I felt it necessary to point out I was not simply hypothesising about how I *might* feel in that situation, but that I'd actual gone through it. But the way I wrote it could be interpreted that I am suggesting virgins should maybe not have input; I am sorry it came across like that.
My intentions were quite different than they appeared. I thought you might want to know that the majority of the opinions you'd be receiving on your poll were coming from people who've never been in a physical relationship before. That is because it's something that I would have wanted to know if I was asking the same question. I was being presumptuous then and it was wrong of me. I am sorry. Sometimes I am horrible at communicating.
It would depend on the circumstances. I'm in a polyamorous relationship so things are a bit different in my book, but I feel like if it didn't mean anything to them it would be less likely to cause concern than if they truly cared for someone else. Then again, with how open minded about relationships I've become I wouldn't let it bother me unless the other party was actively trying to steal him from me. That neither of us would accept, and would prefer an arrangement in which everyone would be "together" so to speak. If we would ever find someone else who fit that role that is.
I think physical is way worse. Hell, I'll be watching a movie or something and think "I'd fuck him," but come on...everyone has an imagination and I'm not naive enough to think that my bf doesn't see a girl on the street and think the same thing.
I believe that in most cases, they both signify an end to the relationship.
I have been on both ends of the stick and in my experience, cheating usually occurs when one partner has practically given up or lost interest in the relationship. Otherwise, they would have been more conscious of the company they keep or the situations that they get themselves into.
they're the same ... kinda.
depending on what you consider to be emotional cheating.
if you're physically cheating or cyber-sexing someone ... that's cheating.
if you're just jerking off to a photo you found online then you're not cheating. and shouldn't be punished for it.
Hm. Being in an open relationship, i may have a different viewpoint here, but:
I think emotional cheating is worse.
Without emotional elements, the physical cheating is "just sex". On the same level as when, say, a married men goes to a prostitute because he likes anal and his wife doesn't.
It's not the nice thing to do, but in the end, it's only sex. The person doing the cheating may love the cheated-on-person all the same, wanting to be with them and them only till the end of their live. It's fun on the side, but their heart is always with their partner.
Now emotional cheating, thats where you lose the bonding between people. Even if nothing physical is involved, the moment one of the partners becomes emotionally attached to an outside person, the basic structure of the relationship is being damaged.
It's simple, really, i can have sex even if i am not in a relationship, so sex is not something exclusive to a relationship.
I can NOT bond emotionally and empathically without a relationship(at least not to the same extent), so the emotional part(love, trust, feeling lonely without the person) is exclusive to a relationship.
Being hurt in the aspect that is exclusive is worse to me. That's not to say if you decide to be monogamous, physical cheating will hurt less than emotional one, but it's causing mainly superficial damage, while emotional cheating breaks the backbones of the relationship.