Elephants

46% Normal
18 Comments

Honestly they frighten me. I've never seen one up close and wouldn't know what to do if I did. The thing is I work in a peanut factory and I live near an animal sanctuary in downtown Juneau AK. Now I've been harping for years that we need to be doing daily or at least monthly drilling in case the worst case scenario happens and an elephant goes on a rampage targeting the factory. Or if a group gets it in their head to organize under a charismatic leader, a sort of Hitler elephant if you will, and systematically attack the factory rendering our defensive counter measures absolutely useless to a coordinated elephant pincher attack. If you read this far and giggled than your welcome. If you read this far and are mad well I'm sorry.

Voting Results
46% Normal
Based on 13 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • NathanScot
    8 years ago

    Elephants are mild creatures and actualy get along well with people if you dont harass them.
    Its hippos you should be concerned about.
    #NotSoFunFact Hippos can run faster than a human being.

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    • shuggy-chan
      8 years ago

      Dont forget hippos can also do this!!!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSKQ3ZNQ_O8

      -side note- a "bull" (male elephant) during mating can be very dangerous

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      • dirtybirdy
        8 years ago

        It's a superb defense mechanism those filthy hippos have. Mine is similar.

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  • modernism
    8 years ago

    Elephants are adorable, fuck you.

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    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      Refrain from profanity please

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      • modernism
        8 years ago

        My sincerest apologies *bows head*. But my sweet pet elephant said that he doesn't want your peanuts anyway.

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  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    They did this on the Simpsons. The second time they got an elephant it got loose and broke into the peanut factory, and one of the guys was like "I told you we didn't spend all those days training for nothing!" and then it knocked him over anyway.

    Let's be real here. If an elephant escapes the zoo, it won't come to the peanut factory, it probably won't even know what a peanut factory is. Even if it did, somehow, it would be so scared and confused because of all the noise and cars and people.

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    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      That's just the thing we haven't been training and I think we need to start. I mean this is a very real scenario and management needs to take it seriously.

      And c'mon now, with the nose an elephant has it would easily be able to sniff out the peanuts.

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      Do you think it could be one of the Simpsons who sent this post? For sure it isn't a mature grown up (I hop)

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    8 years ago

    For some reason my tired mind misread it as eggplants and that's how I'm going to keep reading it. Lol

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      Ha ha ha! Thanks for the giggle

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  • MangoTango
    8 years ago

    You are so CUTE! I loved reading this. :-)

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    Elephants are more at risk from humans than the other way round and humans are more at risk from other humans

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    I love elephants!

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  • VirgilManly
    8 years ago

    Do you guys manufacture alot of peanuts in Juneau?

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    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      Peanut capital of the world

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Frigid heffalumps attacking a peanut factory? Everybody run, run as fast as you can, or something, something the baker's man.

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  • dirtybirdy
    8 years ago

    All I know is umbrellephants are fabulous in a deluge.

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