Dunno what to do
Lately my mother and I have been getting into a lot of arguments, most of them started by her. However, I feel really bad because its my fault for reacting in these arguments. And then, my mom calls my dad and complains about me to him, so he tries to comfort me whilst also saying everything Im doing wrong meanwhile Im having a panic attack and really wanting to die or leave the house somehow. I dont know what to do. I hate it at my house so much. I try to leave often but I cant very much. And im so scared for what will happen in the future, and I feel bad for troubling my dad and for making my mom even more upset and having my sister just watch through all of it, I really dont know what to do. And nothing makes me happy anymore, I dont like to do anything. I dont have anyone to talk to about this and its not likely I'll get someone soon. I honestly really want to die, but I hate having thoughts like that. It feels like no one loves me, or even likes me.
Can someone please tell me truthfully if its even worth living anymore? I have met a lot of adults, and a lot have even vented to me, and it doesnt seem like any of them are happy. Is that just how my life is destined to end? Would it be better if I just died?