Doing drugs and want another way of life

Listen, I am 21 years old- I have been smoking weed since I ws fifteen and I have done more than my fair share of exstasy- truthfully I almost died because of it last year and I am not ashamed to say it. I LOVED DRUGS. Too much. I wasn't stupid but I made horrible decisions in the start of my life and I let it ruin everything good around me. I work at a plastics factory too. I love my job. I love the life that my job allows me to have- but more importantly I love the life that I allow me to have. People love all sorts of crazy things- Your ability to recognize what is going to "love you back" is very very important in life. And in the end drugs always make you want more. Love makes you feel full always, not just sometimes- I got my job at the plastics factory when I quit doing x and now- I have had two promotions, I focus, I make good money, have a new home and a boyfriend who I can also love and because I love all this and it loves me back- I am full and without drugs, able to realize what is important to me. Find what is important to you-and you will find yourself until then you are nobody...

I've been there and I totally relate. When I look back on that part of my life, I see myself in darkness, not seeing what was obvious. You're talking about two very different paths, one of accomplishing good things, the other of apathy and self destruction. The only reason you see these as comparable choices is that you're in the dark, and in the grip of habits you can't control.

I was enticed by a nihilistic life of drugs and hedonism. I listened to music by drug addicted social outcasts and sought out escapes. I relate to romanticizing that lifestyle. But ... I've been down that path and it don't lead anywhere you want to be. In time, I lost control and fell into major addiction problems. This kind of thing is glamorized and romanticized in the popular culture, but believe me, it's not about being cool. It's about being weak and misguided and beaten. It's crushing, horrible, ugly stuff. It's a nightmare that you can't wake up from, except by years of struggle. You don't want it.

It ended up slowly destroying everything really valuable in my life until I reached the point where I couldn't go on in denial. I then had to gear my whole life just toward getting back to normalcy. The only thing that was cool in all of this were the people who'd gone straight and that helped me get out. I hope I never make those wrong choices again and I pray that you don't either.

Hey thanks for the cheer-up! Really nice with a person who has "been there", if you catch my drift. Not that its a good thing that you've nearly OD'ed but that you have rided the horns off, or whatever the saying is. :D I kinda need it, cause I just got temp. suspended from my apprenticeship, and will have to work another 9 months until school again. I see this as a lesson and will be paid full wage instead, so I guess i'll start going crazy :D No, but seriously I just want to get this education and start getting myself together and growing up. In time, the drugs will hopefully be but a really nice memory.

Signed!!!

Most E is cut with amhetamine and other harmful chemicals these days. Doing E once a month (with no other drugs) in a cooled environment with just enough water (not too much) and taking 5-HTP and Tryptophan afterwards has virtually no chance of harming you. The only reason E is dangerous is because of all the crap the government puts you through if they find out. The brain usually rebuilds it's serotonin levels and the brain goes completely back to normal within weeks of not using MDMA. Don't use it too often. MODERATION (not taking it too often).
Disclaimer: this comment was made for educational purposes only and should not constitute medical, professional, or legal advice.

Hey I think that the answer to you problem is committing yourself to MODERATION. Stop doing amphetamines and E because eventually your "everyday" neutral mood will take a nosedive. Seriously. Also I don't see a problem of smoking on the weekends if it helps you feel great. So to stay focused during the week, I would consider that option. You seem to be WAY ahead of the crowd, since you realize that there is a life waiting for you ASIDE from drugs. People often don't believe in themselves; you should strive to build your self esteem.

Im a dealer as my carrear choice, and Im neer your age. I understand were you are coming from and would like to advise to you to choose life. Ive always just ballanced drugs, school, family and friends. And if somthing gets out of wack, I simply go clean for a few weeks, and look at my life. Self control is what you must have. If you cant control yourself, dont use drugs. If you are of a sane mental status and can control your urges, then its up to you. Ive always enjoyed them tho

My thoughts exactly... But everyday I seem to change my mind. I guess i'm just too young to stick to just one wish.. :D

you are in the middle of the road. the only way to find what you want is to get to one side of the road or the other. either you want to live a long life ,or may you rest in pieces