Does wanting to bang jesus make me a bad christian?

41% Normal
39 Comments

The title says it all, but I'm going to elaborate here anyway. I go to church every single Sunday, and I even volunteer some days during the weekdays; I'm a very committed Christian, and I love helping out my community. However, I've been having weird dreams involving me and Jesus Christ getting it on. He's usually nailing me while we're both nailed up to the cross. These dreams about our Lord and Savior turn me on way more than any other fantasies I've ever had, and it's really making me worry about my future after death. Is this normal, or am I going to hell?

Voting Results
41% Normal
Based on 17 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 39 )
  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    3 years ago | pl

    so you wanna make your mark by takin him to the john and playin with his peter?

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    • TheUsualSuspect
      3 years ago

      Utter legend.

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  • TheUsualSuspect
    3 years ago

    Sexual fantasies, especially with such concepts as tying up and dominance, are not uncommon by any standard. I don't know why it is that you have such feelings towards this Christ figure himself, but it's ok to embrace those feelings. As a devout Christian, I feel many things toward the Lord, and while that may be unusual, God truly works in mysterious ways. I too often worry about where I'm headed, and if that's your greatest concern, then you'll be fine, trust me. (Amen.)

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    • Clunk42
      3 years ago

      It's not okay to "embrace" those feelings, but it is okay to say that those feelings can ha happen. I'd argue it's best to just ignore them; not to embrace or actively attempt to destroy them.

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      • Bazinga
        3 years ago

        You homo, this is costume party stuff. She could be Mary Magdelene and have her boyfriend dress up as Jesus. Then he can fuck her brains out.

        By the way, priests masturbate while they listen to confessions. Grow up and become aware of your penis. Then you will be able to think more clearly.

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        • Clunk42
          3 years ago

          Priests do no such thing. You should become aware of your creator.

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          • Bazinga
            3 years ago

            For me, awareness of the creator of creation is best done by looking at the stars on a clear night. As for you, you should be aware that IDEAS survive by being more palatable and seductive than competing ideas. In this way, Darwinism selects the most convincing. In the last two thousand years only two ideas have come out on top.

            1. 72 virgins in paradise.

            2. Resurrection of the body.

            Of course, both ideas are trash. People believe them for wishful thinking. As for masturbating during confession, people understand perversions of the sexually unsatified. You're really really dumb if you can't comprehend this innocent little game that priests play.

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            • Clunk42
              3 years ago

              Are both those ideas Islamic? Just because you think that priests have no self-control does not mean that priests have no self-control.

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  • farkelu
    3 years ago

    Mary wanted to make love with our Lord and Savior. So there's that.

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  • ellnell
    3 years ago

    Das hot

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  • Jamie_Sulky
    3 years ago

    Sounds like a troll but honestly dreams are weird and they don't have to mean anything

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  • KacyWatson
    3 years ago

    It's sin. You are not married to Jesus Christ. Also turning his crucifixion into a sexual fantasy is messed up. You will not go to hell for this, but this desire needs to end.

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  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    No it makes you the best Christian...I think...maybe.

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  • JellyBeanBandit
    3 years ago

    On the contrary, it makes you a GREAT christian!

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  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    Dreams are weird.

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  • olderdude-xx
    3 years ago

    According to both the Christian Bible and the Jewish Torah (old testament portion of the Christian Bible)... the gods, or godlike/god related beings, enjoyed impregnating human females and having children (Nephilim - most references are in "Genesis"), not to mention that this is also the canon version story of how Jesus was born.

    Note: if you didn't know. The Old testament is full of references to multiple gods. Yahweh is the god that Abraham chose to serve - and Jews, Christians, and Muslims are the daughters and sons of descent from Abraham and those who have decided to adopt Yahweh as their god.

    So, I see no reason why you would not fantasize about being a young lady chosen by a "god" or god related being for such activities.

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  • YE
    3 years ago

    Perhaps you should consider a heavenly introduction to his family first. Maybe The Father and Mother Mary might approve, who knows!

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  • my_life_my_way
    3 years ago

    He looks pretty fit in the paintings so I’d say it’s normal

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