Does this effect the way i look at sex today?

Ok. so the first time i had sex, it was against my own will.

and now, i have had sex with multipule ppl casually

and i don't know if it is b.c. that guy that did that to me made me feel like that's all i am worth

or if it is because i am just sleeping around b.c. i feel i should.

i always feel worse about it from directly afterward till even now.

i've been thinking about talking to a councler, but i can't tell my mom and don't want her to find out in any way.

could you plz help me.

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 71 votes (42 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 22 )
  • Deadly_Syn

    You know, you could be a perfectly wonderful person (which I am SURE you are), and just like sex.
    ^-^

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • gothiclord

      i have to agree that you might be just someone who likes it but in the same breath you should go seek help if you feel worse after

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • KittySchizo

    I've gone through the same thing. Honestly you should see a therapist that's what I do.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • shade_ilmaendu

    Well im not gonna repeat what everyone else said, but if this helps you... I kept quiet about shit that had happened to me for years. When I finally told my parents everything, they were so supportive and helped me find a good counselor. I think you should do that yourself, get the help you need so you can start to heal... :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • kekkiumai

    Can I have yo numbah

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • CupcakeLovesPoptarts

    Look, Your Not Weird At All.
    If Someone Forces ThemSelves On You, Your Bound To Feel Like This, Just Because Some Stupid Guy Did This To You Doesnt Mean You Have To Over Induldge In Casual Sex. Your Better Than That. Dont Let This Monster Win.

    Cupcake<3

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • joliegems

    It sounds like a coping method. You started trivializing sex to diminish the pain you felt or could feel if you made sex to be a important private thing.

    Get counseling. If you can, press charges against the person who did this to you. It will be hard, but you never know how many other people he wil do this to.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • kittenlover

    often people who have been raped have a harder time connecting with other people. you should go to a councilor and the to the police

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • niicocofosho

    counsler !

    like you have a distoted view of sex,

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • anabolic19

    yes it most certainly does i have a friend who was raped as a child by her father and she basically sleeps with anything
    and she has ruined every relationship she has ever had by cheating
    and now shes engaged and has just moved out with her boyfriend who seriously loves her and she just cheated on him the other day with her boss
    so i think it definatly does affect it but if i was you talk about it to some one dont let it ruin your life
    iif your happy to sleep around then go for it but if i was you i'd try to stop and only sleep with people that you love
    and sweety your worth alot more that prick your raped you deserves to be tortured
    i hope you feel better bout all this

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • andrian007

    Well, I have a theory, but I might be wrong, but here goes:

    The first time round when you had sex against your will, you felt dirty and that he has taken something very precious off you. More over, you felt like he totally enjoyed it.

    You spend the rest of your time now having sex casually subconciously trying to prove to this dude that that occasion meant nothing to you and that he is therefore "defeated". I know this may sound like a strange question, but do you think of him everytime you have casual sex? That may answer it.

    Otherwise, you maybe perfectly normal and really enjoy sex... like what other posters said.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • MzBeck123

    I think it's normal that you feel this way. It's sad, but normal. And you can't be the one to blame. As far as being sexually active, just remember that you are special, even if someone took that away from you, your heart didn't go with it.
    I used to be promiscuous, my issue was from very low self-esteem. I was overweight, I thought I was in love with this guy that only wanted to be around me when he wanted some, and I thought all the guys would like me if I did what they wanted.....that was the dumbest mistake I've ever made. Unfortunately I never had anyone to talk to about it, I tried asking my parents for help but they ignored me. Finally someone said to me, "If you don't respect yourself first, then no one will ever respect you"......that changed everything for me. Big time. What happened to you was awful, but you are still a treasure. You should remember that when you even think about being intimate with someone.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Counseling - go for it - smart move.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • tarl_cabot_of_port_karr

    there are a few things you should ask yourself that may help.

    do you like having indiscriminate sex?
    does it make you feel good/bad etc.?
    Are you happy, not about the sex, but just in general. would you call yourself a happy girl?

    whatever happend your first time, if it was unwilling, as i get the impression it was, then there is a great probability that it affected your view on sex.
    i'm no professional, but i think that you should try "saving" it for people you feel a close connection with. As in, a boyfriend or someone extremely close in the same manner. do things that make sex mean more to you. having sex only when you WANT it for YOU, not for anyone else can make you feel better about sex.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • sunshine44

    ya my first time was against my will too..and it made me almost hate sex..i hated every guy around but at the same time..i wanted sexx..but the first few times it just felt like shit cuz i just kept thinking about that first time...its all inner thou i never talked to a counselor or a psychologistand i could never tell my parents...i just decided that im worth alot more..and if a guy want to have sex with me he was gonna have to work alot harder...just put it in ur head..dont just have sex casually..if u like the guy ..i can guarantee u that the sex will be so much better..thats how i feel now...u just gotta find a person that u like his personality and also attracted to sexuallyy..feell free to email me..im not sure how this site works or if u can even email me..but yaa

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • oskilover18

    This is incredibly common in such situations. You should really get counciling.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • combatgal856

    I know how you feel. Some first times are done against the girls will which might affect how you see sex. You might see it as something that is done rather than something special because in you're mind you probably see sex similar to a kiss, it is not too special. Because you didn't fight for it, you probably don't fight for it now. I don't know how to make sense of it.

    I guess getting over your first time and admitting that sex shouldn;t be like that might help, it might change you're mentality on things so that sex means more than just doing it. Find someone who respects you and who is willing to wait, then sex would be more like a prize than regret, since you worked for it.
    Hope it makes sense and helps

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • mattyxlove

    well, i definitely don't think you should be having sex if it makes you feel worse afterwords.
    the actions you choose in life should ultimately help you feel happy.
    i would recommend talking to a counselor, but just so you know, if you really want help you'll have to confess what's happened. and i think that counselors are obligated to report rape cases...(don't quote me on that)
    as for parents, i don't know your parents, i don't know how they'd react, but ask yourself:
    would i rather have them know sooner or later? do they love me?

    in my opinion (if i were in ur shoes) i'd tell them now, because though my parents might react angry or dont' know what to think about the whole thing, i know they love me deep down, and they would do their best to help in the end.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • cjwright79

    Yes it would seem to be because that guy made you feel it was all you were worth.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • biblebashingtreehugger

    it may have an effect on your view on Sex, perhaps seeking a counciler could help, have you tried talking to your friends about it at all?
    try think about how bad it feels before you get with a guy.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • how does one get raped?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • SunD3R

    y didn't you tell the guy to stop? Do u think u were sexually abused in the first place? if so maybe u should get help from a counciler

    Comment Hidden ( show )