Does the "nice guy" want me or am i just the only taker?

31 Comments

Hopefully some of you guys can relate to this guy and give me some perspective.

He's a "nice guy" (the real kind, not the kind that takes rejection as a personal insult), he is very good to me, he is very physically affectionate and places no priority on sex (in fact, he wanted to wait), he has a good job and it pays him well, lives on his own, nice car, total fucking nerd.

This guy is a total fucking nerd, he works on computers for a living. Gamer, comic books, anime, cheesy cosplays, the whole 9 yards this guy is a goddam nerd. Before you get pissed, dear reader, I'm about 70% as nerdy as him. He plays magic and video games and I don't. Everything else fits.

He says that he has been rejected by a lot of women. He says he was addicted to WoW in high school so didn't find a girlfriend until he was 21. He is 25. He is also good looking and well hung. Physically fit. Nerdy sarcastic personality. Total introvert. Spends most of his free time alone. Offers me most of his free time if I ask.

We get along very well and if you fit this description in any way (looks and finances excluded if necessary) tell me... do you think this guy wants me for me or because I'm his only current option?

He wants ME 25
I'm the only taker 6
Other (comment) 6
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Comments ( 31 )
  • NeofelisNebulosa
    8 years ago

    Most people are not willing to settle for less. If he's with you, then he most likely really does like you. Granted, people don't always end up being compatible in the long run, but... Let's put it this way. Even though I am currently single, I would not settle for someone I didn't like just to cure my loneliness. He probably does want you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Thank you, I had that feeling and your opinion seems very reasonable.

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      • Arm0se
        8 years ago

        It usually is :3

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        • NeofelisNebulosa
          8 years ago

          Thank you <3

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  • mystery7
    8 years ago

    So... if you were NOT his only option would you be more inclined to be with him?

    And so what if you ARE his only option?

    You either want to be with the dude or you don't.
    You either have a connection with him or you don't.
    You can imagine some kind of future together ... or you can't.

    For me your kind of thinking is a mind game that's not worth playing. It drives many men crazy – and not in good way.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Yeah, I understand. As I have said to other users, my last relationship fucked me up. This guy turned every thing into a mind game. I thought I had gotten rid of these doubts but obviously not.

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  • kingofcarrotflowers
    8 years ago

    Kinda patronising

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Explain?

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      • kingofcarrotflowers
        8 years ago | pl

        Assuming that because of his lifestyle and because he's been rejected before ( who hasn't ) that he will just settle because he has no other options, assuming that he has no other options in the first place

        And something else I can't put my finger on, just the overall tone, and lines like, he obviously isn't popular with the ladies

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Ahhh, I apologize, I'll change it. I'm not thinking lowly of him. I think highly of him. I'm just trying to paint a picture that people might be able to relate to. Describing his overall personality is really difficult to do in very few sentences. He just puts people off with his personality.

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          • kingofcarrotflowers
            8 years ago

            No maybe it's me, I'm sleep deprived and in a cynical mood right now

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  • green_boogers
    8 years ago

    The tone of your post is very dangerous. I'm not sure why it is. Do you have so little faith in this guy that you think he would dump you for a beauty queen if she snapped her fingers? This just doesn't make sense.

    The ball is in your court here. You need to make him comfortable with your 70% nerdy side. Make him comfortable with your touch, your back rubs, your oral-sexual skills. Be gentle with him. You are holding his heart in your hands.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I did all of that stuff yesterday. Whether or not you were being serious, I can not say.

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      • green_boogers
        8 years ago

        Ok, so you have "faith" problems. This guy has to know that you believe in him. You should be able to feel some kind of acceptance and open mindedness on his part. That will never happen if you are unable to have faith. Don't waste this guy's time.

        You're a material girl.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          No, not material (I'm assuming you mean superficial?). I've just been passed over for "someone better" many times. My previous relationship fucked me up pretty bad and it's been a while since I've had something real. I just don't have that faith and yes, it's confusing to him because I feel sincerity on his part, I just have a hard time trusting my own feelings.

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          • green_boogers
            8 years ago

            I'm sorry. You may need a complete break from men for 6 months or so. Mind games are difficult to recover from, and should never be tolerated. Otherwise, try trusting his feelings instead of yours. If you don't, superficiality awaits.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              Sounds like solid advice. He was my friend to begin with and we didn't just START dating just to start dating, things just kind of developed.

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  • Vile
    8 years ago

    Guys nerdy enough to play Magic let alone the other shit has far more things he finds interesting in his life then a hole to stick his dick in. Nerds of this nature are good mates but OMEGA as fuck. Which means you'll have to initiate things, to a female however lame it may seem. He plays Magic, that's nerdy as fawk.

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  • amiloved
    8 years ago

    Communication is extremely important from the start. Talk to him about your feelings and ask questions so you will know the answer and not keep wondering over and over in your mind. Based on what information I've been told you two are a match. I also believe love grows over the years the more you get to know each other. For some I guess it goes sour but it can't be pleasant having worries I'm your mind especially if he will answer or talk about your questions.

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  • reginaFalangi
    8 years ago

    I'm not sure if i should help you or rather try to find him and him fot myself. :P

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  • amiloved
    8 years ago

    He sounds like a keeper. I truly enjoyed reading your story. I might be weird but I could just feel the love between you 2 and believe it will continue to grow.

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  • theseeker
    8 years ago

    If he's truly a nice guy, then he will be loyal as well. It sounds like you're compatible, but it's a matter of looking past your insecurities.

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  • RoyRogers
    8 years ago

    If he simply settled you will eventually figure out. I settled once but he was a rock so I finally ended it.

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  • HYPERANDPESSIMISTIC
    8 years ago

    Who knows? Even he probably doesn't know (this is the sort of thing you can only know about yourself though hindsight). Since you can never know you should stop dwelling on what is going on inside his head. If you want to take a chance, take it. If you don't, don't. This probably wasn't helpful.

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