Does my dad psychologically abuse me?

14 Comments

im a girl I'm 17 y/o and my dad always insults me he doesn't live with me but when i talk to him on the phone and sometimes i ask him how is he doing and he answers me by telling me that he's doing bad and that he is sick and really negative things and when i sometimes share my option about some topics her responds by asking me : are you stupid or what? don't you think ? GOD! why are so stupid ? is this what you go to school for? to not learn anything and I'm actually really smart and i get reeky good grades and i really try hard because and study a lot inver miss class , i help my mom at work,i clean my house i am really polite and nice to everyone but everytime time someone asks me about my dad i just say he his a good person when i really want to burst into tears because he offends me a lot.
i remember when i was little my dad would buy me men clothes like combat boots and big green jackets, i don't think those things are just for guys but i was little kid and i didn't really like those clothes i wanted to wear purple or yellow and he wouldn't listen to me and one of my worst memories of my dad i have was when my dad would take photos of himself with his camera i would want to appear with him and i still remember his words : GET OUT! this is my photograph.
so that a little bit about my situation with my dad what do you guys think.i need your help i really want to be independent and to never relay on him but he told me he was going to pay for my college but then sometimes he tells me he won't i tells me to find a way to pay for it myself.and i cry by myself sometimes i never tell my mom i don't want her to worry

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Comments ( 14 )
  • Jezzzy
    6 years ago

    Not normal! Not okay! You are a queen! Tell mom!

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    • sadkitten9
      6 years ago

      thank you for your kind words <3 yes i will tell her hope she listens to me

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  • KiwiWisdom
    6 years ago

    Honestly I feel for you. Yes, it's abusive to call you stupid. It's flat out just insulting to you. That's not even addressing the manipulation of dangling college tuition in front of you and then threatening to take it away. It's not normal.

    It's not consistent loving parenting and honestly you probably shouldn't take an offer you can't count on. Not listening, being posessive and insulting are all marks of someone who put themselves before their children. I have been in that awkward position of not wanting to speak ill, wanting a good relationship and trying to ignore the insults. In the end though, I realized I was holding my breath. I moved away, seperated my life and feel better after accepting the reality of a parent who isn't ideal.

    Don't let him control something as important as college tuition unless you're ready to be disappointed for no good reason. You're better off going for grants, scholarships or plain old savings if no one else can help. If you do let your dad help, be very careful not to rely on him or you could end up with a sudden hill of debt and no degree. Hope this helps clear it up.

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    Your dad is an asshole! Have you ever tried to stand up to him?

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    • sadkitten9
      6 years ago

      i have tried and he told me that a was a selfish rude little brat that has it all and that i do nothing for life. i really try to stay strong and not be affected by his comments but sometimes its hard

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      • RoseIsabella
        6 years ago

        Yeah, I think he's got some serious issues. Does he abuse drugs or alcohol?

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        • sadkitten9
          6 years ago

          from what i now ,no but he is an orphan ,his parents well my grandparents died when he was a 3 years old and his moms dad raised him

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  • Zorak
    6 years ago

    Your dad sounds like a bastard.

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  • randypete
    6 years ago

    where is the vote for this post

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  • redrainbow22
    6 years ago

    He could just be lashing out at you because he is really stressed.

    If he is really stressed cause of work or something, then I wouldnt try to take it so personally.

    Otherwise, he might just be a selfish asshole. But I dont know completely about your situation.

    I wish you good luck though

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    • RoseIsabella
      6 years ago

      I see what you're saying there, but I don't think being stressed out would be much of a good excuse to be an abusive asshole, especially when th abuser is a parent.

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      • redrainbow22
        6 years ago

        Well of course you should never be mean to people for no reason, but I'm just saying I would understand why he would be lashing out.

        And it shouldnt be taken so personally. When people are mad, they say stuff they dont normally mean. Same if someone were to be really stressed out.

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        • RoseIsabella
          6 years ago

          I just think it's good to stand up to bullies even if those bullies are your own parents, but it's probably harder to stand up to your parents. My dad taught me to stand for myself and even to him.

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          • redrainbow22
            6 years ago

            Of course

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