Does he take it to the extreme or is it normal

15% Normal
8 Comments

I have been in a relationship for six years with a very jealous and some what abusive boyfriend, emotionally and physically. The reason I have stayed with him is because we have 2 kids and I do love him very much.
I feel as if he does take it to the extreme most of the time. For example a trip to the store will cause and argument because I can not look another man in the face, (young or old it does not matter) because that means I am being a whore.
He tells me he does not trust me what so ever. And majority of the time he is putting me down. He is my best friend and knows the things that hurt me, the things that I am very self conscious about. So when he is angry the first thing he tells me is how ugly I am. (I have low self confidence but guys are always hitting on me so I figure I'm not the ugliest) but I am still a whore and a slut. (I feel as if this has caused me to cheat because other men make me feel beautiful, but my boyfriend has no idea about that and its a whole different story)
Is my boyfriend normal or is he too jealous? Is there anyone out there in the same situation?

Voting Results
15% Normal
Based on 68 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • smuffle
    14 years ago

    Get out now! Abusive relationships are cyclical, so even though it might seem good sometimes, the bad times do not make up for it!! Children from abusive homes are more likely to grow up to be abusers or abused. The best thing you can do for yourself and your children is to leave him, even if it hurts. There is so much support out there for women and children from abusive homes, you just need to find it.

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  • mtnw
    14 years ago

    so he's abusive and you cheat. what are you teaching your kids? actually, you sound like a victim to me, which is why you don't want to leave. it's all part of his plan.

    you say you love him, but i doubt that. what is it about him that you love? you are probably confused about your need for him and loving him. it's not the same thing.

    if you can get away on your own once in awhile, like to cheat, then you can get away once in awhile to get help.

    your boyfriend is not normal. you are not normal as long as you stay.

    i doubt that you are ugly either. that's just his way of making you feel like you need to stay with him.

    find a local women's shelter, they will relocate you and your kids and help you get started on a new life.

    if you can find a guy to cheat with, you can find a good guy to have a life with.

    best of luck

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    • ComboBreaker
      14 years ago

      Exactly.

      Get help!

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  • ranna
    12 years ago

    I think that when your husband is out pack up take your kids and get the hell out of there get a divorce and find a nicer husband no women should be with a guy that beats her and calls her names so I think that you are cheating because you get the love and care you need

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  • XJayX
    13 years ago

    I agree with the people above me.

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  • xXScYtHeXx
    11 years ago

    You're hardly any better for cheating on him, doesn't he have every right to be a bit suspicious and not trust you?

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  • Passionate
    14 years ago

    he's possesive. break up for awhile and tell him its because hes possesive, then get back with him. cured! trust me

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    • Acerbic
      11 years ago

      I disagree completely.
      He is possessive and abusive; breaking up for a while will indeed cause him to ACT like he's changed so she'll take him back, but as soon as she comes back and he gets comfortable again, he'll go back to his old self. He's got a basic flaw in his psychology and nomatter how many sweet things he says or how much he claims to miss her, without intensive effort on his part to fix that he'll always be that way.
      It's part of the cycle. He'll abuse her, manipulate her into thinking his apology is sincere and that he won't ever do it again, then abuse her again; the cycle goes on and on.

      To the OP,
      The only way to stop it is to cut the abuser out of your life completely and permanently. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your children. It's psychologically scarring to them and like Smuffle said, children from abusive homes are far more likely to become victims or aggressors when they're adults than children who had a normal childhood.
      Get out now before he seriously hurts you or your children- don't think it won't happen because it WILL if you let it continue.
      ACE

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