Does he love me back?

I am a female, 5’4, average body, i work in a school, I am age 27, this is my third year working with a teen student who I fell in love with last schoolyear around winter time. I’m not sure what struck it, but one day we both started looking at each other a certain way, cracking quiet jokes that only he and I could hear, and I’ve felt madly in love ever since.

When school let out for summer vacation, I knew I was going to have a rough summer without seeing him for 3 months, but I went along with my vacation well, the love I felt was hardly bothering me once summer ended. But when school started again this month, he was the FIRST student I saw that morning. And the love I felt was evidently STILL there because my heart started pounding when he arrived and said he thought he was never going to see me again, that he thought I moved. Now, two weeks into school, I avoid looking at him as much as possible, but he can’t keep his eyes off me when we are in a room together, and he makes me feel so f***ing special. We read each other’s minds, and I can’t explain it. It hardly feels physical, it’s this crazy emotional connection I have whenever I’m in a room with him. He always quietly comments exactly what’s on my mind, the way we speak to each other, the inside jokes we have together, and yes he’s cute, but I can’t see myself physically attracted to him until he’s older. I am just in love with his eyes. I feel like I’ve known him forever, in a past life maybe?

I’m crying almost every night after work because I feel so heart wrenched over him. I haven’t been able to express my feelings AT ALL in almost a year now.

Is all of this weight on my end? Does he feel ANYTHING remotely close to what I’m feeling?

I’m no law breaker, and I love my job, I would never overstep boundaries, I think that’s what makes it so difficult for me. I’ve NEVER felt like I was “in love” with someone younger than me either, that’s the crazy thing. I’ve always been into men a little older than me. But I feel so close and special around him and it’s breaking my heart to the point I want to commit suicide.

Someone help.

And if he feels the same way as me, how can I even know? It’s not like I can break my own personal professional code of ethic and tell him I love him. I guess I’ve told students I loved them before, girls/boys, but not in THIS way. I am straight up in LOVE with him. I just want to sleep on his chest and smile.