Does american society make women immature?
I got out of a long term relationship that, as I saw it, when things came together (i.e. finish grad school) we were going to get married. This person was going to be my spouse. Here in lies my question. The parting of ways was due to reasons such as (1) 'no talking', (2)'not being there', (3)'drifting apart.' and (4) stupid stuff like me not 'walking her dog.'
Why did such things happen, b/c at the time (and still happening, I am suppose to be outlining now on a Sunday morning for school instead of writing this post) I was barely able to keep my head up financially (I come from nothing and with luck and hard work am where I am at)and academically.
My thought process is that I was setting 'us' up. That times are difficult now, but, say in three years, things would be much better. The profession I choose pays well, has plenty of time off, and has a good outlook with respect to employment. In this instance, if someone was going to make money, it was me.
Her life led her to a name tag at the mall (nothing against that, I was a mechanic and worked in retail the majority of my life, this is mentioned for the reason that such a career path leads to a 26k dollar salary living with your parents or roommates). I also realize its not all about money, but money is important when you do not have any. I don't want to be rich, I just want a comfortable life for me and my family not living paycheck to paycheck.
As much as I was at fault, and I was at fault as I had my head up my butt, so was she. I am stupid guy, but I was not born yesterday. I know who she was talking to and what she was doing online. At any point she could have put in the hard work to talk to me, to work it out, to go to counseling, to grow together. I will be the first to admit fault and try to improve myself, I am not so narcissistic to think otherwise, but she apparently went off to greener pastures.
And here is the point. Society has imparted upon us, both men and women (although I find it especially true with women) an Idealistic version of what 'love' should be. That we meet our 'Fabio' or 'CPT America' and go riding off into the sunset. Long walks on the beach, love at first site.
Am I wrong to think there is a difference between that initial primal lust and what long term love is? Am I wrong to think that successful marriages are when two people work together to be one and compromise? Do people, especially women, really think that there is this knight on horseback that is going to sweep you away and you'll live in a castle for the remainder of your years in whatever your perfect world and perfect man is?
You have got to be kidding me.
Lust is fucking. Love is an emotional connection that grows and takes, yes I know this is a four letter word, work to mature. I realize there are exceptions in which no work can save a relationship, but in every successful marriage you will hear that with the good times there are bad.
At this point, I am done with American women. I am not sure where else to look. My best friend is from El Salvador. He is my field of study academically and he has suggested I date a Latin woman. Not an American born woman of Latin decent, but a Latin woman from Latin America. He has been here in this country for about 3 years and has expressed similar experiences.
He has set me up with a blind date with one of close friends from Bolivia. I have good hopes as I have talked with her many times for extended periods over the phone the phone and we initially seem to get along great. She seems like a smart girl, a good head on her shoulders, without the pollution that American society breeds into the fairer sex . . .i.e. that love is a snapshot of that one perfect lustful moment when you are in the first throws of meeting someone and all that you can think about is the pulsing loins between your legs.