Do you think that it is possitive or negative?

23 Comments

It happens to me quite frequently that when I express my opinions on sex (attitude to sex, particular sexual activities, etc.) or my opinions on men or women (gender-related issues) in a discussion forum, people often think that I am a guy - some of them even don't believe me that I am female when I tell them and they seem to be quite sure that I must be male pretending to be female.

My question is - what is your opinion on a person who experiences this quite frequently? Do you see it as something negative or as something possitive?

(Note: I never try to hide my gender a I don't suffer from a "phobia" to use gender-indicative words such as "my boyfriend", etc.)

You are deficient / defective as a woman (I'm female) 4
You are weird in a good way (I'm female) 16
You are deficient / defective as a woman (I'm male) 3
You are weird in a good way (I'm male) 19
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Comments ( 23 )
  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    You probably have a masculine demeanor. Many people assume I am male based on my written communication. I never hide my gender, but it doesn't always come up. In real life, no one would confuse me as male. I don't think it's a problem as long as you are honest about who you are.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I guess that it happens to many people from time to time in online discussions / written communication. But someone may experience it really often. Does it happen to you very frequently? I also wonder if it happens to you significantly more with particular topics.

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      • howaminotmyself
        11 years ago

        I'm not sure which topics make me sound more masculine, I've not paid much attention.

        On this site I get it a lot, but I don't ask everyone so it's hard to say how frequently it happens. I just notice people call me "sir" a lot.

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  • SuperBenzid
    11 years ago

    "deficient / defective as a woman"
    Somewhat redundant to say defective as a woman.

    Just kidding :D

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  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    I don't think it's either/or. It just is.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    I don't find it weird at all.

    It's the internet, there's really no definite way to define gender when you're looking at nothing but text. Usually, I assume everyone is a male until I find out otherwise because before coming to IIN, my experience was that most of the people I met on the internet were male (we used to say that there were no females on the internet lol).

    Usually, I guess someone is a female when post on topics for girls (like the recent, do your bra and panties match or wtfever).

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  • dom180
    11 years ago

    Meh, I'm often confused for a girl. I think nothing of it; it's nothing to do with me. Their perception is what's wrong, not my actions. It's neither weird in a good way or weird in a bad way. It's just a thing.

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    • disthing
      11 years ago

      It's the luminous pink that confuses everyone!

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      • dom180
        11 years ago

        Hehe, I may be doing that deliberately to confuse people! <_< ;D

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Well, if it happens from time to time, it doesn't mean anything but if it happens really frequently, it may be indicative of something - especially when it regularly happens when discussing particular topics. The reason why it happens is obvious sometimes, sometimes it is not. To be honest, with regard to your feminist views it is not a big surprise if people tend to think that you are not a man.

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      • dom180
        11 years ago

        All I think it's indicative of is that the perception from many people of what behaviour is male and what behaviour is female is (and long has been) grossly out of touch, but I take your point.

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      • prasatko
        11 years ago

        I just want to let you know that after reading this comment you wrote to her I do not believe you that you are female.

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  • prasatko
    11 years ago

    I voted "weird in a good way".
    Maybe it happens to you because you tend to write sentences without using feminist newspeak.
    You know, if you write a sentence without words such as "objectifying, degrading, sexist, empowering, gender stereotypes, patriarchal oppression, sisterhood, discrimination, consensual, coercion, I have difficulty reaching orgasm, He is a pig because I feel that all he wants is sex and he does not respect me as a person, double standards, womanhood, dangers of sexualization, discrimination at workplace, etc.", then you should not be surprised that some people will not believe you that you are a female. If you want to be perceived online as a modern emancipated woman, you can consider using one or two words from the list above in each of your comments. Hope it was helpful and do not forget that Sisterhood is Powerful!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      What about this? We should stop discrimination of sexist pigs, coercion is empowering! Sisterhood and womenhood are degrading words - discrimination of people using them at a workplace or wherever else is understandable. Dangers of sexualization and objectification are welcome and consensual.
      Am I getting better at using feminist newspeak? Am I closer now to becoming a modern emancipated woman?

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      • prasatko
        11 years ago

        I guess yes. There might be some small mistakes but it is a good starting point.
        Now I will leave the space for other users who feel the urge to correct some of your minor mistakes you might have made but I guess that everybody will agree that you have made a significant progress. Something like a small step for a woman but a giant leap for mankind. (shit! of course I wanted to say womankind, mankind is a patriarchal word.)

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  • dodongos
    11 years ago

    I have the SAME problem, but everyone always thinks I'm a girl! :'I

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Do you have any idea why people could think that you are a girl in discussion forums? I also wonder if it happens to you significantly more with particular topics because I think that it might be different from the situation when it seems to be quite random.

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      • dodongos
        11 years ago

        Well, I think it usually happens when I ever mention sexual topics or emotional issues, or whenever I'm looking for any sort of advice on skin care/hygiene kind of stuff.

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  • EAT_IT
    11 years ago

    You're awesome. I didn't vote.

    I'm gonna really enjoy this sandwich now!

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  • dirtybirdy
    11 years ago

    I have been mistaken for a dude many times. Maybe its my vulgarity. Oh well. I don't see it as something to take positively or negatively.

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  • rhythmness93
    11 years ago

    Well you should probably give an example of something that someone would get the idea that you're a guy for...it would help.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I have a lot of such examples. As I have stated in my original question, I receive such reactions when I comment on sexuality and gender issues - probably because I enjoy sex and do not like feminism, I may be also quite rude sometimes...)
      Here are 4 examples from IIN (2 related to sexuality, 2 related to gender issues):

      EXAMPLE 1 (topic: gender issues)
      FEMALE USER 1: “Men never ask for 'attention or love' because they have ALWAYS received it. From a very young age men have received love and care from their mothers, they grow in their teens they receive love and care from their gf's etc etc. For women its different... when we grow up and meet a boy we no longer recieve the attention we use too from when they were a child.“
      MY REACTION: “ From another planet??? Or nut-house? Or just under the influence of shitty feminism?“
      FEMALE USER 1: “For a second I was going to elaborate more regarding my previous commment, BUT, from the looks of it, the stupid DNA that is imprinted in you...“
      - from the discussion that folowed and involved other users as well it was clear that “the STUPID DNA“ is a reference to “the MALE DNA“.

      EXAMPLE 2 (topic: blowjobs and possitive attitude to ejaculation during blowjobs)
      My poll question - part for women: “ Would you like to have a partner who wants to have majority of his orgasms during blowjob and ejaculate into your mouth?“
      FEMALE USER 2 – claiming someting along the lines that there is no reason why a woman would want that told me: “Keep dreaming“ (thinking that I am a male who wanted that)
      (The conversation continued and I tried to make clear that I am a woman, it was obvious that I have a possitive attitude to blowjob and ejaculation into my mouth and enjoy both)
      In short, FEMALE USER 2 told me then: “I totally assumed you were a man when I wrote that comment. I still suspect you are.“

      EXAMPLE 3 (topic: sex for pleasure or procreation)
      - quite a long and angry conversation with users who think that it is a virtue if they are not able to enjoy sex
      A part of MY COMMENT which received the response of another user quoted below: “Iam perfectly happy with my sexuality, have wonderful sexlife. If I became as frigid as you are, I would kill myself.“
      USER: “excuse me, but we could be writing a long sad story about you, saying how your just another sexual mother fucker who can't control or keep their cock in their pants, just stating!!“

      EXAMPLE 4 (topic: feminist males)
      MALE USER's reaction to one of my polls in which I explicitly stated in my original poll question that: “I'm a woman if that matters...“
      MALE USER: “And another thing... I feel like this post was created by some sexist, old, lonely man. That or, a woman who enjoys being at the feet of men. Which means very fucked up and possibly abused as a child by a male figure.“

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    possitive yay you have made a new word science.

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