Do you think it’s because i haven’t met the right person ?

67% Normal
1 Comment

I don’t know how to get over a lad I’m stuck on. We saw each other for a couple of months, it was nice and then one day decided he ‘wasn’t ready’ so I left it at that and got straight back into dating to try and move on.
I’ve dated quite a few lads since him, at first he was all I thought about, so many what ifs, then one day I just forgot about him. Well not forgot but he wasn’t always in my mind, I went on dates and had fun. I’m not heartbroken, I’m sad... because me and him had fun. And it’s like the not knowing because he didn’t exactly say he didn’t want me. We don’t talk but he has recently popped into my head and I keep dreaming about him. Yes I fancy the pants off of him. But I’m not contacting him yet.

Infact I’m not sure what to do. I’m pushing myself to go on these dates with people but I just go on them and I’m not remotely interested. They’re nice people and I enjoy the dates. But I know what I want. I just don’t know how to get over someone I’m hung up on.

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 6 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 1 )
  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    It's easy to idealise former lovers/partners/hook-ups/whatevers. Because you don't have to deal with the reality of all their human imperfections, and because we all have a tendency to want to believe we never made mistakes in our love lives and wasted time on people, the passage of time tends to gloss over all the negative qualities of the person.

    That's dangerous, because the flesh and blood people you're going on dates with can never compete with your fantasy, idealised ex.

    You may have had fun with your ex, but the fact he broke up with you indicates pretty clearly he didn't feel the same. Accept the fact that when a guy says he's "not ready", he's just trying to let you down gently, and what he _means_ is that hell will freeze over before he's ready for a relationship with you. You may not want to accept that because it's a blow to your ego, but when it comes down to it, that's just his opinion of you. It doesn't mean you're a horrible person, it just means you're not the person that particular guy wants to be with.

    Accept the fact it's over, stop living in the past with a perfect guy who doesn't actually exist, and move on.

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