Do you think is wrong that i consider having a threesome?

47% Normal
18 Comments

My bf values sex a lot. He's the type of person that only would have sex with a girl he's in a relationship with. In his opinion, other people having sex when they're not in a relationship is absolutely wrong. (And nope, he's not religious, in case you're wondering).

I'm ok with that. But I'm not so "unflexible" when it comes to this, though. I mean, I'm not the type of woman who sleeps around and has "random sex", but I also don't judge friends with benefits, etc.

The other day he asked me if I would accept having a threesome with him and another guy/girl if he asked me. I didn't know what to say, because I never thought about it before and also I don't know if I would enjoy it, so I didn't really give an response. I only said "I don't know, it's difficult to know because it never happened to me". Then he said: "what if it was my wish and I really wanted that?" Then I answered that I would probably accept it.

After my answer he started to blaming me for not value our relationship and sex as much as he does and he was disappointed and angry. He also said I have no morals and self respect.

Do you think is wrong that I consider having a threesome?

Voting Results
47% Normal
Based on 17 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    So are you comfortable being with some who manipulated you into giving the answer you thought he wanted and then denigrates you for it?

    He's manipulative and controlling

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    • Freedom_
      8 years ago

      This ^

      I've had the exact conversation you are describing with my ex, along with other similar ones. They were all mind games and traps and it gets really old after a while.

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  • TrustMeImLying
    8 years ago

    Wtf. That's screwed up. You need to tell him how immature he's being testing you and setting you up like that. You considered the threesome -because- he said he "wanted that." That was evidence of you valuing the relationship. This is just as bad as a girl who asks "do you think that random chick hot?" and if you say yes you're in trouble.

    Don't be trigger happy when it comes to quitting on people. Give him the benefit of the doubt since people are not always aware of how petty they may be behaving. You calling him out might make him understand that and accept fault. If not you probably need to re-evaluate if you should be with someone so closed-minded. Since such mentality is likely to spread to other facets of your r'ship.

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  • VinnyB
    8 years ago

    In this situation he asked and you only agreed to even consider it after he said it would make him happy. Agreeing to try something sexually even though you may not be completely comfortable with it because you believe to will please your partner doesn't make you a slut. It makes you a caring partner who places her partners sexual pleasure above her own.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Anything two or more consenting adults wish to do sexually together can never be 'wrong'. Adults have every right to find pleasure wherever they can, no matter what others may think. And IMO, no other person has any right to judge them or hold them to a standard that they do not adhere to.

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  • Couman
    8 years ago

    Not at all. And frankly your BF sounds like kind of a jerk to set ypu up that way.

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  • Nokiot9
    8 years ago

    So, he baited u into thinking he wanted a threesome, then threw u under the bus for agreeing with him to make him happy. You sure know how to pick em honey.

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  • [email protected]
    8 years ago

    wanting a threesome is normal no matter what kind of three way. mmf,

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  • Unimportant
    8 years ago

    You've got yourself one fucked up boyfriend there.

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  • mystery7
    8 years ago

    Wow he sounds like such a manipulative and insecure jerk to ask you the question then hold it against you when you said you'd consider it.

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  • stopandthink
    8 years ago

    He sounds a wee but like me, but I would generally ask about threesomes BEFORE any relationship, no hurt that way.
    I can relate to him thusly, I'm not one for sharing my partner in such a way.

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  • abigdick
    8 years ago

    Having a threesome is not for everyone. If it works for great. If not, that is OK too. Sex is fun and exciting and not a demanding force that causes you to do something you don't want to.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    You seem comfortable with your sexuality. Don't let his hang-ups bring you down. I upsets me that he asked only to put you down.

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  • Darkoil
    8 years ago

    Your boyfriend sounds like a cunt and you should smash him in his pathetic little face next time he talks down to you.

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  • Aries
    8 years ago

    It's unfortunate you fell for the trap , I knew what following information was coming when you mentioned him asking . I don't think there is anything wrong with you saying you would accept , it's not like you are begging him every day to have one , you simply said if he asked for one would you consider participating in it . He sort of pushed you towards the answer really .... I can understand a little of where his emotions are coming from by putting a large value on just the two of you and not wanting to share it but he shouldn't be asking questions to things he doesn't want the answer to basically . I think he should have left it alone and not tried to trick you into saying something he wouldn't be pleased with ... what was the point of asking if he never intended on taking it serious you have to ask?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      You're right. I knew he would judge me, the whole conversation was much bigger than what I wrote here, but basically he insisted until I said that I would accept. Sometimes it seems he's trying to giving me reasons to make me feel bad about myself. He said he already knew the answer (because he knows how open mind I am) and I asked him what was the point of asking if he already knew, so he said he had a small hope. He also said his answer would be always a NO because he would never have sex with another person and he don't understand how can I even consider it.

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      • theseeker
        8 years ago

        I could see how it might be some kind of test, but more than anything it seems like a dick move, especially if he forced you into it. He doesn't have a right to be angry at you or blame you. Don't be afraid to put him in his place. To be quite honest, us guys need that sometimes.

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      • Aries
        8 years ago

        It seems to me he has things he needs to work out with himself and not with you . He has this insecurity and trust issue from what I got out of it all ... I am not sure why he was so adamant on getting you to say yes and also he makes no sense because he says he doesn't understand how you could consider , you only considered because he asked? I could see if you asked him and he said no and explained himself then you continued to ask anyways but that isn't the case here , he clearly asked and pushed you into the convo . I think he needs to be clear on what he wants and what type of woman he wants while also figuring whatever the hell is going on with him out because this could be a real cause for concern I would hate to see some nonsense like this ruin your relationship down the road and then even more times wasted . You don't want the girl to answer .. don't ask pal .

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