Do you know someone like the person i just described? is it common?

14 Comments

I have a 29 year-old friend who has an MBA (which her parents paid for) and won't find a job and expresses no interest in finding one (she lives at home). To some extent I sense this is NOT normal (because her family keeps asking me to motivate her to find a job). But I'm asking here because I want to know how common this is? Is it normal to not want a job/to work? If anyone can explain what's happening inside her head and why she is the way she is, I would be grateful.

Yes, I know someone like this 36
Yes, I've heard of people like this 37
No, this is not normal 18
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Comments ( 14 )
  • lease
    12 years ago

    You associated "not wanting to find a job" with "lives at home." I'm guessing you only know a little of her story. Perhaps she has an ill parent? Perhaps they want her to stay there for now. Perhaps they're loaded and she has no reason to need a job.

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    • dreamhisgirl
      12 years ago

      Oh, geez. I actually wrote a long story about this, but I couldn't get it posted (now I have explain all over again). Let me explain. First of all: she doesn't have ill parents. Here's the entire story:

      She finished school at 25 (with an MBA her parents paid for) and has never searched for a job since. She started a small business but it didn't go too well (because it was mismanaged). But now she just sits around at home all the time. When I meet her parents before we're out to go some place, they ask me and some of our other friends to "talk her into finding a job" or "please help her find vacancies" because she has younger siblings and they'd like my friend to be able to take care of herself so her parents can focus on financing the younger ones, so it's not about her parents not wanting her to work (they're not like filthy rich or anything, she DOES have to work). She's stingy sometimes and very calculating, but she demands the best. And she's interested in beauty and fashion, and the "high life". I like the finer things in life too, but I work for it. I mean, how can I help her get a job without being offensive? I want to help her because when she's unemployed and broke, she's insecure and she ends up hurting a lot of people to make up for her insecurities.

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      • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        12 years ago

        it's simple...

        when her parents ask you to "talk her into finding a job" tell them to stop enabling her.

        if they kick her out i'm sure she'll find motivation to find a job

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        • jacobkyle
          12 years ago

          Really? You had him/her type all that for your shitty answer? Ridiculous.

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          • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
            12 years ago

            Seriously? How so?

            Because it's the truth perhaps? If the friend's parents really want the girl to move out and get a job... the easiest way is to stop providing her free room and board.

            I mean if you have a 20-something child still sucking off the parental milk supply... why would she give that up?

            But take the milk away from her and... gee maybe she'll suddenly realize rent and food don't just fall from the Mommy & Daddy Tree... you have to earn it.

            Thus... she'll go out and get a job.

            You don't teach birds how to fly by gluing them to the nest. You teach them how to fly by kicking their butts out of it.

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  • whos-lovin'you
    12 years ago

    my boyfriends brother. laziest idiot out! hes a really nice guy but seriously you are an aDult so get your ass out of your room and away from your ps3 and laptop and do something with your fucking life!and please stop blaming everyone else for you being lazy!

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  • theytookthisone
    12 years ago

    an MBA?

    My sister sounds pretty damn similar to this. You mentioned that she is insecure and brings others down with her. I think that is a big factor to it.

    My sister stays around home doing nothing, does not want a job. She expects people to pay for her things all the time. She uses the excuse that she isn't that good at math to be around a cash register or isnt confident to be around people... Just a bunch of excuses due to insecurity

    Not sure if your friend has her insecurities consuming her that much but maybe its a thought. Also, do you think shes maybe depressed?

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  • Wilkommen
    12 years ago

    Normal, yes. Good, no. I know a lot of people with Bachelors that refuse to work until they find their dream jobs. They refuse to settle. I am getting my Bachelors right now and working part time for crappy pay, but hey it's still money I need to make. I also pay for my education, but my parents do help out. I think my attitude has to do with that. I feel like if more parents would make their kids pay for at least some of their education, they would be more proactive about putting that education to use. I seriously hate my friends that don't work or pay for anything sometimes.

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  • SoccerStud88
    12 years ago

    in today's economy it's prolly more normal than you think. I've read too many articles saying MBA's arn't even worth it anymore.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    If she is 29 and still doing this then her parents are clearing enabling her to be like this.

    Angel in a Glass Dress is right, just kick her out, or at least cut off the money supply. That would force her to get a job. She sounds like a shitty person too, mooching off friends and what not to live the "high life" but doesnt want to work to earn it. Not to mention the calculating and stingy part as well. I wouldnt give her a dime if it was me. Or the flip side is you give her $10-20 and then every time she asks you for money again you remind her about what she already is owed to you. That way you got off cheap.

    Personally I see little to gain by being friends with someone calculating, stingy, and above all entitled as she clearly is.

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  • livefastdieold
    12 years ago

    usually with a graduate degree such as business, you can just kinda stay at home and do a lot of research before you unleash your master plan. once the parents cut off the money line, which they eventually should, your friend will end up being put under pressure like he/she has been before every final. this pressure gets people to do amazing things and he/she might start an awesome company depending on what sort of vc's he/she has contacts with. there are plenty of poor college students who have a bs and need this type of mba person to create some synergy

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  • Dixi
    12 years ago

    She's probably got mental issues you dont know about

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  • Megid
    12 years ago

    It's natural to weasel your way through life; surviving comfortably with minimal effort.

    Allowing this behavior from a 29 year old? Bad parenting.

    They need to set aside a weekend to sit down and help her find and apply for jobs.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    The parents should just cut off the finance! You get nothing for nothing!

    Make sure the sockets in their rooms don't work for their wee gaming machines.

    What's this gap going to look like on her CV when she ever gets round to applying for a job? What's she going to say at the interview? 'I couldn't be bothered working!

    I'd bin a loser like this - they wouldn't be worthy of my friendship / energy or time.

    Funnily enough my teenage son is about to get his mobile phone and internet contract cut off coz he's spending too much time interacting with others and not enough time actually 'working' on his schoolwork or living a real life!!

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