Do you have low self-esteem if you're anti-social?

15 Comments

I am wondering what is wrong with me in terms of being social. I admit that yes I am anti-social but I don't think I lack that much confidence. I have met a few people here and there who I am confident around, I am me and they accept it. Then I meet the downers which bring the wrong side of me whether its the b*tch or the shy quiet one and I know thats not who I am but for some reason, those sides come out and its unfortunate because they don't get to see the real me. So when Im in that situation, I tend to isolate myself because I really don't want any confrontation even though it could be awkward regardless, I rather stay away and let it be awkward than be around those people and let it be awkward. I feel like when I make the effort to be around them, Im not welcomed. Like Ill try to be myself and it seems like theyre just like okay moving on as if they dont accept me so thats when I just rather leave. So considering these aspects of myself, does it seem like I lack confidence? I also think maybe I get intimidated? but that doesn't mean Im not comfortable with myself. Or just in general, just because you can be anti-social, it doesn't mean you're not confident, or does it? Love to hear what everyone has to say, it is a sensitive subject btw.

You can be confident and anti-social at the same time 65
If you're anti-social, then you do lack self-esteem 18
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 15 )
  • bristexai
    11 years ago | pl

    Anti-social refers to sociopathic behavior, not this type of behavior. This is being asocial. For some people it's a symptom of a mental disorder, and for some people it's just who they are.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    6
    6
  • WordWizard
    11 years ago

    I have no self esteem to be measured. I am like the air I just float around

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I dont know, I would say I am anti-social and confident at the same time. But then again I dont purposely try to be anti-social I just dont like stupid small talk, like about the weather or someone's dumb kids.

    Then again maybe I am just an asshole.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • Ihadtomakeyetanotheraccountffs
      11 years ago

      "I'm not an asshole I'm just a little confused."

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Wait, what?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Holy smokes! You listen to Aesop Rock?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Ihadtomakeyetanotheraccountffs
          11 years ago

          Yeah. I thought it was appropriate.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Maybe. But I've known some people with pretty good self-esteem who were anti-social, so I wouldn't subscribe to the theory of low self-esteem being a prerequisite of anti-social behaviour. Some people just don't like people.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Iamjustbeingme
    11 years ago

    I believe u will and so will i. Just find a way to trust yourself enough to know your going to do the right thing and say the right thing, and that means doing and sayimg what you feel. I am starting to know that its something no one can live with and be healthy because honestly ive gotten to the point to where im afraid to go outside because of confrontation with others and how l will react to it. But as far as getting better i believe u will and everyone with this problem, its knowing u can surpass the stage n just being ourselves. Writing also helps, and when u wake up tell ureself you r going to do it better for "you" and dont say maybe. Repeat it a few times! Have strength and like u said "fu*k" what others may think of u, because its only u that u have to wake up everyday and please and be.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Omg two things you just said that I can relate to right now. One is to trust myself I will do/say the right thing which is how I feel. I am probably going to go into a confrontation later today and Im debating how should I go about with this. The situation are with roommates and they are basically all gonna gang up on me I know it. The way I feel about it is annoyed, tired, and ya its sad because they make me feel like Im a bad person when really I haven't done anything wrong that deserves everything they have done to me. It is so stupid, conniving, and passive-aggressive. And so, Im trying to see how I can tell them straight up about how Im feeling without it becoming into a big argument. This leads to the second thing you mentioned which is avoiding confrontation. Yesterday I had one with one of the roommates and it wasn't good, after all, the way I was approached was what threw me off which probably sprung my attitude and the argument. It was very passive-aggressive because whatever she confronted me about was not the only problem. There's something else under there. So honestly like I said, I know I will say the truth of course but how? Smiling? as if I don't care anymore which is true and I do find pple funny when they start arguing or Serious? because Im so tired of it.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Iamjustbeingme
    11 years ago

    Well I lack self esteem, but I'm also just like you when it comes to being social. Their either annoying or I just don't know what the fuck to say. But I also have to learn not to give a fuck about what others think of me, I mean come on I am the shit (metaphor for gaining confidence) lol. I can meet people and be comfortable but a lot of times I meet people and I'm not and I am not my vibrant self, so I do distance myself because I don't want to have to be someone I'm not, but I have to learn to be able to be myself with everyone and not allow them to take it away, although you should trust your instincts. But like my boyfriends family I avoid them and I think so because of what they'll think of me and because I try to impress them I forget to be ME.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Ya :) same here, I don't like being fake because I know Im being fake and Im not okay with that like others are. And because I don't like it, it doesn't come out right. So when I try to stay me around pple who I don't feel as myself around, its just plain awkward and tension. Therefore, I rather stay away from those pple than be around and have awkward while I suffer and melt to pieces. Im so tired of these things that I seriously am trying to do everything I can (like writing these posts) to see how to not care anymore about what others think cause honestly everyone judges, its just up to you if youre gonna pay attention to it and let it make an impact. I admire dumb blondes who don't care what others are saying about them and they just move on, I admire fat kids who know theyre fat but they keep walking knowing theyre getting made fun of but also know that life goes on so theyll go along with it, I admire asswholes that everyone freakin hates yet theyre still asswholes cause they just don't care. These pple are just being themselves no matter what and I hope to be like them SOON. I'm getting there, I feel it.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Lonely2
        9 years ago

        In general yes, they often go together...most anti social people are anti social because of anxiety or low self esteem and depression ....being social also involves skills that take time to learn...Im 50 and still learningthem

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • westoptic
    11 years ago

    I am self confident and very anti social. I just focus on other interests of mine and socialization doesn't happen to be one of them.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I think you mean if you're reclusive.

    I've got ASPD and i don't have low self-esteem, people like me don't know what self-esteem really is to a degree. I never feel down so it's hard to gage, just frequent, short lived, bursts of annoyance.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0