Do you believe in the 80/20 rule?

22 Comments

Do you believe in the 80/20 rule?

If you don't know what the 80/20 rule is, it's basically a saying that means if you have someone that has 80% of what you want in a partner, be happy and don't go looking for the other 20%. If you go looking for that other 20% you may end up with a 20/80.

For instance, I have a boyfriend who has almost everything I've ever asked for in a guy. He's sweet, caring, loving, trustworthy, family oriented, polite, etc. The only thing he lacks that I really look for in a mate is ambition. He is one of those people that get by living pay check to pay check and he's happy with that, while I on the other hand went to school and busted my ass to make more money than most people I know. I have 80, but I'm scared that if I go looking for the missing 20 I won't find someone as great as he is.

Thoughts?

Yes 30
No 12
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Comments ( 22 )
  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    It sounds as if you're ambitious enough for both of you: there's no right or wrong here, you have to work out whether or not you can accept him being different to you in this respect. If not, let him go and search for someone who's 100% what you want - good luck with that .....

    Have you ever asked him to apply the 80/20 rule ("rule"???) to you? Maybe he's 80% happy with you except for the 20% ambitious part?

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  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    Your thinking of leaving your boyfriend because he's financially comfortable, as are you? I don't understand...

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      That's nothing like what she said!

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  • linchpin
    8 years ago

    Ahhh females. Always psycho-analysing.

    If you love him, you love him. If you're questioning your love for him, you don't love him. Keep it simple!

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  • Couman
    8 years ago

    I agree with what others say, basically, the whole "rule" thing is stupid. And I have no idea how you're supposed to score something like this numerically. However the basic idea is sound, if you insist on perfection, you'll probably be disappointed again and again.

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  • TheShyGirlFromWork
    8 years ago

    Who - the - fuck - does this STUPID shit???

    Anyone who respects themselves, and the person they're dating doesn't apply these types of "rules" to the relationship... They just accept the person for who they are. If they like the person they're dating, then they continue dating them - If they don't like the person, then they break up.

    ASSHAT!

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      But how about if they accept 80% and don't like 20%? It's not as simple as you're making out, in my opinion

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      • Barbarella
        8 years ago

        Then she is looking perfection. (100%). And, this raises the question of what's good enough? 90-10, 95-5, 99-1? At some point on the scale, you have to accept what you are getting.

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        • Ellenna
          8 years ago

          Depends what you're getting: I was once in a marriage a long time ago which was about 80% good, but the 20% was alcholism, physical and verbal violence and dishonesty.

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          • Barbarella
            8 years ago

            Whew. Alcoholics are the absolutely worst partners that exist. Glad you got out.

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            • Ellenna
              8 years ago

              Any addicts, not only alcoholics.

              I was young and naive and never wondered why he used to say that he wasn't an alcoholic because he didn't drink alone .... I got out because of his alcoholic behavior without realising he was alcoholic until years later when I went to AlAnon because of another partner.

              His alcoholism, coupled with genetic facctors, heavy smoking, unhealthy diet and no exercise, killed him years after I'd left him

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Perhaps if this fellow was as ambitious as you think you would like him to be, he would not have enough time to spend with you as you would like. Then you'd be bitching about a different 20%, wouldn't you?
    Are you sure ANYBODY could fit the bill for you?

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  • ArmusWasTheFirstTroll
    8 years ago

    For me, a person needs to be honest, authentic, altruistic and ambitious. If he/she is missing one of those traits, he/she is probably not a good human.

    That being said, I don't believe you can quantify human traits or emotions. Therefore, arithmetic is not applicable.

    Just ask yourself, "is this someone I am proud to be with?"

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  • Asstastics
    8 years ago

    80% isn't good enough for me. I'd rather masturbate to porn in my stinky ass bedroom.

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  • ucipher8
    8 years ago

    I never heard of this rule but i think its a good rule and would agree with it.

    Ill put it this way - if you two were married, would he be okay with you being the breadwinner in the household/family? If the answer is (very very very) yes...

    Perhaps he can provide another "30%" to the relationship of which technically should cover the "other" 20% you were looking for in him.

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  • theseeker
    8 years ago

    To me it sounds like you're thinking about leaving him because of the money issue, which is fucked up in my opinion. It shouldn't even be about money or possessions, and I wouldn't wanna be with somebody that thinks that way.

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    • ShadoClone
      8 years ago

      I may have to agree with that. It definitely sounds like you hate being broke.

      Also, if I was an 80 my woman should be the MISSING 20. Which means that you should be on his case about it.

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  • webjock
    8 years ago

    Hey, No One in this World is perfect.

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    • dytrog
      8 years ago

      Speak for yourself!!

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  • dytrog
    8 years ago

    He's a 80-20. What are you a 50-50?
    Anybody that looks for a 100 is doomed to be alone.
    If he is happy he must not know what a self centered
    greedy bitch you are.

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  • victorygin
    8 years ago

    I agree. I think some of us might grow up with the idea that there is someone out there who is absolutely perfect for us in every way, so by "settling" for anyone less than "perfect", we're short-changing ourselves ...and it's a load of rubbish. That attitude only leads to disappointment, imo. We're all only human, so there's always compromise and that "perfect" person just doesn't exist.
    So if you love them (despite or because of) the way they are..that's good enough!

    100% doesn't exist, so 80% is definitely good enough - and not worth leaving to search for perfection.

    *(But 79%, that's a different story, don't waste my time...)

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  • lexilove
    8 years ago

    I dont believe in the rule but that doesn't mean keep him as a boyfriend. I think you should forget rules and just think about how you feel about him. If you think there is someone out there that is better it's probably not a great relationship if you're not fully committed emotionally. I dont know the relationship well enough to really say anything, you need to see how you feel

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