Do i have the power to make someone violent?
I really need some help and advice I feel so bad and depressed .here is the story I was in a violent relationship before for 2 years only found out the last 6 months he cheated on me a lot and I knew it but ignored it cause loved him a lot I was 23 he was 10 years older and drank a lot ,called me horrible names then it got violent and I never did anything was so sweet to him but and I broke it off eventually as so fed he use to hit me in public , however after a year i thought my luck had changed I met the most wonderful guy on the planet very sweet and kind ,generous on top of all that super handsome as well, we didn't live in the same country 7 hours flight distance he came to see me every 2 weeks just for a weekend however I noticed that the first time we went to a party together he called me a b..ch and got a little to friendly with my friend I was upset he told me he was super drunk and doesn't even remember but I got scared I liked him so much told my friends about it they called me paranoid but I couldn't get over it somehow I think I knew what was coming another guy who has no control when he's drinking and much worst unpredictable I ignored it as everyone called me crazy and we had some fights about it as to me I was drunk wasn't a reason enough ,anyway he showered me with expensive gifts we travelled a lot together he seemed a bit controlling but it didn't bother me but after a year while he came to see me I took him to our company Christmas party he wanted to beat my colleague up cause he put his arms around me and my colleague is much older so I didn't think was a big deal I was so shocked and embarrassed we came home he yelled his lungs out till morning and called me a wh..re and I like attention and want to be molest.ed by a older guy ,until I said sorry we got engaged 2 months after and I was meant to move to him however that's when we got into many fights he would pick on anything and once at a party when he was very drunk and I was upset and just ignored him for something silly actually he lashed out and called me all kinds of names and insults in front of people that's when I saw the red flag even though I was childish and silly I could not believe that this is how he is when in a fight then after that I picked the habit of calling him mental and crazy and psycho which I know was wrong but I just could handle the humiliation in public and all the f.ck offs in every fight I was so hesitant to move and delayed it same thing happened a month later he just easily got offended when we were out and if I danced with girl friend on the dance floor he would tell me iam running away from him we went home he punched the wall took my engagement ring out by force in the morning was all fine again but he blamed it on me like usual , however after much convincing from his side I moved to him left my job friends home and moved it was a fight from day he actually beat himself once in order not to hit me but he eventually got physical with me once ,but iam totally torn now as he actually broke up with me and said I made him hate himself and that's not the real him I have made him like that , iam absolutely broken and I blame myself, he said between all the efforts and love he gave me I should have moved right after he proposed he also use to do drugs now and them when younger but told me he had stopped I found out he still does it eventually ,but it's so weird as he's such a nice guy to everyone else but with me he use to be sooo sweet don't know what happened,has done a lot for me he did admit he had temper issues we even went to counselling but he told me I lied to the councillor and he never beat me even though I had bruises he very much denied it.