Do i have the grounds to dump my boyfriend coz of this?

15 Comments

Okay so Ivve been seeing this boy for half a year now. I met him online, hes was really cute, tall, sweet. The nicest boy in the world I used to think he was gay lol. He was a gentleman. Holding doors open for me and buying me my favourite flowers and presents, he was perfect in every single way expect for one. He would never do anything sexual with me. Whenever I tried he would get shy and find a way to get out of it all we ever did was kiss and cuddle its all too tender. I kept trying and trying I mean he's 19 and I'm 21 we're old enough and mature enough to have sex right? In commited relationship. So I finally asked him flat out about it.

He got all shy again and said he isnt comfortable with sex. So I asked him why. He said he didnt want me to see him naked. but hes rweally fit and slim, he's a little udnerweight so he has nothing to hide so I kepy asking and asking until he finally told me WHY he wont have sex with me.

Its coz hes a transgender. He was born a girl and had operations to make him a bo but only on his chest so far. he gets injections and stufff. He cried telling me and said I was the only one he ever told and begged me to forgive him for lying coz he did lie, he isnt a boy yet if he doesnt have a penis right? He kept saying if sex was that important to me that he would be able to buy 'things' he could use for sex. He says he only wants to please me and would gladly buy one.

But now I know i feel sick of the thought of him touching me!! He;s technically a girl and I think it's really disgusting that he lied to me. I tried to deal with it but I cant and he's noticed my hesitation. I dont like transgender people they make me feel sick (no offense to anywone). I want to dump 'HIM', i'm not a lesbian I dont want to be with 'him' anymoe, it makes me think all his sweet things he did were just to trick me into making me think he was a bboy. Its why he never let me meet his parents, coz they disowned him for being a tranny.

Can I dump him for this??
Or should I just put up with it until someone else comes along?

Yes 26
no 23
I dunno 3
Other (commet) 6
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Comments ( 15 )
  • ETCR
    11 years ago

    Dump him for sure. The sooner he can get a girlfriend who'll respect him and not -
    >Describe him using Transphobic language
    >Insist he's female
    >Assume he has to have sex with her when he's uncomfortable with his body
    >Want to "Just stick with him until someone else comes along"
    >Use atrocious spelling and grammar
    the sooner he can be happy, and not have to put all his time into making a close-minded she cow happy.

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    Well I do think you're exaggerating a little bit about the tricking you.. I'm sure he was just trying to be a good boyfriend, based on what you said about his personality it sounds like he'd be the guy getting random gifts all the time.

    I'm not sure where the discomfort with transgender people comes from, though I'm pansexual myself so it wouldn't really matter one way or the other. But your gender can be different from your biological sex. Mentally, your boyfriend knows he's always been a man, but his body doesn't match his mind. It's difficult to get the genital surgery, which I'm sure is why he doesn't have it yet, but you'd be surprised how much change comes about just from the testosterone.

    I would stay with him, but I cannot say if that's right for you or not, but simply point out that you shouldn't blame him, that's a difficult thing to tell a person, he probably expected this sort of reaction from you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      but without the surgery hes still a girl??
      so what do i do I dont want to data girl

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      • shade_ilmaendu
        11 years ago

        While it's fine to have your preferences, you're not quite being mature about this whole thing, so yeah, maybe you shouldn't be dating him.

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        • Zonfire80
          5 years ago

          She just not into transdudes without the surgery. Stop Shoving your believes down her throat.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          rude ;/

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          • shade_ilmaendu
            11 years ago

            I thought I worded that pretty politely. ;)

            Allow me to suggest that you don't go all "ewwww you're a GIRL" when you break things off, as this would probably make him feel like shit.

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  • RIPMitchXx
    10 years ago

    Okay first off the way you began discribing him after revealing him as transgender was disgusting. "tranny." really? Then insisting he's a she. No. He is a boy, and always has been, and just the fact that he told you about it, and begged you like that, just shows that he really loves you and cares about you.
    The fact that you don't even care about that because he's a "tranny", is fucked up.
    I hope he dumps YOU for being such a bitch.
    Good day madam.-.-

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    • Zonfire80
      5 years ago

      Why does she have to date him if she doesn't want to. If he forces her to date him that's like rape. It's no different than any other guy wanting to date a girl that doesn't want to date him.

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  • Zonfire80
    5 years ago

    Yes dump him or at least tell him you want to be with a biological male. It's fine I'm a transman and if any girl dumped me for that. I would just move on and fine some other girl. For all the other transmen out there, please understand that this girl was lied to. That's not right and she doesn't have to be into transgender people.

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  • HospitalForSouls
    9 years ago

    If you feel awkward and bad about transgenders, don't lead him on.

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  • Legion
    11 years ago

    on the one hand, I can see why someone would me mad at being lied to like that, but in the same token, I can see why someone who is transgender would lie about that. Society pretty much forces them to lie, trans people are ostracized worse than most criminals. It seems murderers and con men get better treatment than them. as for me, if I ever found out a woman was dating used to be a man, I would be surprized at first,and at the moment feel a little decieved, but as soon as I remember why she was compelled to lie, I would apoligise, and continue on.

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