Do i display signs of self hate?

65% Normal
13 Comments

I'm 19 and a non stereotypical black female. Ive been told all my life that I'm very attractive. I'm 110 lbs skinny and don't have a typical black female figure. My hair is thick, flows down my back, and is all real. Though I enjoy various forms of "black music" (rap, hip-hop, R&B, etc.), I also enjoy practically every other genre of music excluding country (I can't relate to it). I especially favor nu-metal (Deftones is my favorite) and Indie music. I also enjoy drawing, with Tim Burton and Jhonen Vasquez as my main inspirations. I love snakes, videogames, the outdoors, museums, Broadway shows, reading, and watching informative documentaries. I also have an unusual style of dress. I like piercings and tattoos. I like clothing with a Indie or "Hipster" style or more darkly influenced clothing almost bordering a punk or Goth style. It just depends on my mood. Most black girls I've met wear urban influenced clothing like Baby Phat or something similar but I strongly dislike wearing "urban" clothing myself.

I've never dated a black guy. I don't find the dark skin attractive. I'm not at all attracted to the texture of their hair. Most black guys shave their heads which, to me, is even less attractive. I've tried to be attracted to numerous and various types of black guys, from the well educated, well mannered black boy to the thug, and none of it has worked for me.

I have an Italian boyfriend and I'm in love with his features. I love his olive complexion, long, silky, black hair, his intense green eyes, his long nose, pink lips, and overall manly, chiseled face. He is also very well endowed.

I also don't hang out with other black girls because of our different and conflicting interests.

Voting Results
65% Normal
Based on 34 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • EndlessSuffering
    11 years ago | pl

    You just don't find the dark skin attractive, there's nothing wrong to it. No, you don't show any signs of self hatred.

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    • chewy
      11 years ago

      Hi buddy :)

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  • disthing
    11 years ago

    I think it's unfair to assume because you aren't attracted to black guys, yet are black yourself, you subconsciously loath your self.

    If you follow that logic then all heterosexual women hate themselves because they aren't attracted to women.

    The kind of subculture you're into (nu metal, alternative, indie) is popular for the most part amongst non-black people, so it makes sense that you'd gravitate towards people with similar interests - for the most part non-black people.

    And of course we can't choose what we're physically attracted to. We all have our preferences, I wouldn't feel like yours is something to be ashamed of or indicative of some underlying issues or self-conflict.

    One thing I would say though, in regards to your last comment, is to be wary of being prejudice towards black people. There are other black people with personalities like yours, interests like yours that would make great friends, but if you instantly assume they are too different from you based on their ethnicity (ironic) you could be missing out on getting close to some great people! You are definitely NOT the only black girl in the world into alternative rock and fashion. Remember that.

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  • joeydangerously
    11 years ago

    Sounds like you're an individual not stuck with the status quot of what is considered mainstream. You like what you like that's not self-hatred. Different strokes for different folks ya know.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    10 years ago

    Hi Keddersprincess.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Nope

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  • Xunroos'E
    10 years ago

    I just don't understand how you could not hate yourself with what you've just presented.

    You are dark, yet not attracted to dark skin? Are you not attracted to your own skin? That doesn't add up in my book.

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  • Blazneg2007
    11 years ago

    Where did you grow up?
    I ask, because I am the child of a mix couple. I look like a fair skinned black guy, but I grew up in a really rural area which was 99.6% white. That's an actual statistic for the record.
    My parents split up when I was young, and I lived with my Mom (white). Due to their split, I wasn't around black people or "black" culture. It's not something with which I identify. I don't hate black people or who I am. I'm just me, and it seems that you are just you.

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    • Thexoutcast
      11 years ago

      I'm from central Arkansas. Its majority white also but not as much.

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  • thanksforthefreecar
    11 years ago

    You just don't follow stereotypes.

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  • bananaface
    11 years ago

    I don't really understand. I certainly can't see any self-hatred going on:/.

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    • Thexoutcast
      11 years ago

      I've been told throughout my life that the way I am shows self hatred. Like I'm denying myself of who I am and my race.

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  • Callmeifudo
    11 years ago

    I agree with EndlessSuffering's comment.

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