Do guys friend zone?

32 Comments

Ya know...I just realized the subject of friend zones always has to do with the girl friend zoning the guy. Ive never really heard a guy friend zoning a girl. That leads me to think...when a guy finally meets a girl who is nice to him and treats him with respect and supports him...does he want her more than as a friend or does he look at her as just a friend? like girls usually do to guys who treat them with respect and support? Apparently from my own research, guys like girls who support them and respect them. So in other words, guys never really friend zone. If they meet someone right, they will take her seriously. So girls shouldn't feel like they have to turn into "bad bitches" to get the guy? I think the ratio from guy friend zones to girl friend zones is pretty high. Do guys friend zone?

Yes, we do prefer edgy girls	10
Nope, if we find a good girl who respects us, shes a keeper	36

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Comments ( 32 )

Shoefish

9 years ago | pl

Are you asking if a guy has ever turned down a girl? The 'friend zone' thing is so ridiculous. Nobody is entitled to anyone. You're not going to be interested in every single person who shows interest in you, no matter how nice they are.

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- LundaiCocoaDelight20
  
  7 years ago
  
  I hate this whole friend zone phenomenon. Losers say shit like that.
  
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- [Old Memory]
  
  9 years ago
  
  I think people seem to not understand the whole "friendzone" thing. From my experience it is not used as a "SHE/HE MUST LIKE ME BACK!!!" Thing and more of a description of the position someone is in.
  
  I view the friendzone as this:
  Two people are friends but one of those people have deeper feeligns for the other, so much so it goes in to romantic feelings. They've chanced their luck and seen if she/he feels the same and if they are willing to take their friendship to the next level, a relationship. The person declines and wishes to just stay friends.
  
  That's the friendzone, nothing more, nothing less. It's a bad thing in the sense that it's emotionally destructive but not in the sense that somebody shouldn't be allowed to do it.
  
  :)
  
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  - Shoefish
    
    9 years ago
    
    I still don't understand why the term is needed but if everyone used it like you, it would definitely be less infuriating.
    
    You're lucky you don't have some of my friends on Facebook. I'm always reading rants about girls friend zoning all 'nice guys'. So I think some people do use it in an entitled way, instead of just accepting that someone doesn't like them.
    
    The OP's question just doesn't make sense to me. Obviously guys turn down all sorts of girls because the feelings simply aren't there, which I think disthing described perfectly.
    
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  - LundaiCocoaDelight20
    
    7 years ago
    
    Stupid, stupid. Who said a romantic relationship is better or higher up then a platonic relationship?? What type of bullshit mess is that?
    
    So the opposite gender friendships is less important to these type of people? Being a friend is a huge responsibility and a honor to have. Fuck wrong with people like that.
    
    Losers, go find someone who likes you instead of harping over someone who doesn't?
    
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disthing

9 years ago

Guys do what girls do; they find some people attractive, and other people not as attractive.

The way you're portraying the whole 'friend zone' thing sort of implies who you fall for or see as a potential partner is a conscious decision. It isn't. Nobody is guaranteed to be romantically interested in you just because you behave in a certain way.

I've never heard of anybody saying "Oh yeah he/she was really nice, maybe not dating material, so I friend zoned them." Most people aren't that tactical or manipulative.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I think the way you think is the way I think. I go along with whomever I catch feelings for, not cause of how they're acting. But I just wrote the post in terms of how the majority usually plays. Guys think that girls put away nice guys and go for bad boys. For me, I think that's false. But its a popular topic that I don't hear much about from the guys side so I was curious.
  
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  - disthing
    
    9 years ago
    
    Ah OK - well then I agree with you, I just don't see people naturally behaving in that way, placing people in 'zones' based upon their suitability as friends or lovers - at least not at any conscious level.
    
    And it's pretty common for friendships to blossom into romantic relationships, so that kind of undermines the whole theory.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Yeah well I hope now people understand that girls don't always pick the bad one over the nice one. Just because the guy is a gentleman to her, doesn't mean shes gonna go out with you. If she happens to catch feelings for someone who misbehaves every now and then, then oh well! its not like she chose him cause he misbehaves. Guys need to learn that no matter how sweet you are to her, she's gonna go with her feelings, majority of the time.
      
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dom180

9 years ago

Yeah, but not for the reasons you think. As anyone who has been in a relationship with a mean person can tell you, it sucks. It can be addictive because you're always trying to win your mean girlfriend's approval and you don't really have good enough self-esteem to leave and find someone who respects you more, but that doesn't mean I "like" the meanness. It just means it's manipulative enough to make a guy stay for a while.

Most girls are nice. Nice is great, respect is something I need in a relationship and kindness is super attractive, but it isn't really the cornerstone. For a serious relationship I want someone who cares about the same things I care about and really believes in the same things I do (or at least makes me challenge how I think at the moment so I change how I act for the better). I want someone who sees beauty in the same places I see beauty. I want a girl who is tough and strong-willed and individual and who pushes me to be too. I want someone who makes me a better person. I can't imagine building a life or a family, in the many years to come, with anyone I connected to less than that. Nice and respectful is just the start. *Everyone* should be nice.

At the moment I'm not in the right space for a serious relationship no matter what. It would take someone I seriously connected to for me to think about relationships right now, or even casual sex. I'm perfectly happy being single, so long as I have my friends.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Of course there are other qualities ur gonna go about when being w someone but those particular ones I mentioned are just the basic material. There seems to be this popular topic surrounding how girls friend zone guys with those qualities even tho personally I don't think its true. So I was just wondering if guys sometimes do that too. But like I said based on some research , guys find it attractive when she is supportive, nice and respects him so with hat being said, i m assuming guys don't usually friend zone a girl with those qualities. Instead they actually want something with her. According to society, when girls meet a guy with those qualities, shell friend zone and go for the more edgy guy.
  
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  - dom180
    
    9 years ago
    
    Disclaimer: I don't represent all guys. I have gender identification issues, and I frequently deviate from "normal".
    
    I get what you mean now. Good clarification :)
    
    I think, before I was with my mean ex-girlfriend, I would have gone for the edgy girl and "friendzoned" the nice, sweet, respectful girl. I'll admit it. It's only the learning and experience that helped me change that. My ex-girlfriend *was* the edgy girl for me. For me it was a shitty experience, and from that experience I will learn how to better distinguish between the cool, individual, assertive girl I like and the sort of mean asshole I dated for 18 months. Lots of people, boys and girls and anyone else, have to go through that stage to learn and move on from fetishizing edginess.
    
    Hopefully that helps you. Please reply if you want to talk more :)
    
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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

TL;DR section is above the black line. The rest are just personal experiences.

Yes, we friendzone girls. Friendzoning is not a bad thing and people have a right to do so. Can it reflect on your character? Yes. That doesn't change that friendzoning isn't *wrong* to do.

I've friendzoned girls before. Some nice, most not so nice. Your limited options here aren't too great if you want to get accurate results to make your conclusion.

Someone being nice isn't all it takes for a connection but it's something you should aim in someone to have aswell as a connection. The people you should primarily look for are good people that you can connect with.

So, yeah. Guys do friendzone but not just because a girl is "too nice". I am sure some guys have done that but it isn't the general reason why they friendzone a girl in my observations.

______________________

I'll mention a few times I've friendzoned girls.

In no particular oder:

- There was a girl that was "edgy", which was pretty annoying. I was somewhat friends with her, moreso just a classmate. I thought she was a little "off" and I didn't really connect with her much. So the times she asked me I turned her down. We remained *friends* until a certain point. The friendship ended a while after due to drama in the group. She ended up stalking me in college, following me around, etc.

- A girl who was really in to me. She was a friend. I liked her but she wasn't my type. She was quite the chav, if you are familiar with what that means in the UK. We had some fun times but I could tell she was all over the place in terms of how loose she was, which put me off making our friendship a relationship. This is cruel, I know, but one time she asked me out (MSN cam chat, that old thing) and I was like "hell yeah! Totally!" thinking she was joking. She smiled and went to the bathroom of the girl she was crashing with. During that time her friend said "You know she's serious, right?"...My face just dropped...I had to explain how I thought she was joking. Our friendship stayed on, though.

- Girl I met outside a bar. Hooked up. Became friends. She thought it was something it wasn't, I explained that to her, and that ended the friendship by her choice (totally understandable).

- Another girl I met at a bar. Met a few times, had some fun...Said we should give a relationship a shot, she seemed alright, kind of goofy in a cute type of way. In our early times when we first kissed I noticed her friend pulling her away saying they have to go. I was a bit confused by that. It was kind of cute how despite being slighly dragged away by her friend, just before she cut the corner she pulled her hand off of her friend just to take a glance back at me. It was so damn cute I done that cliche cheesy damn smile and looked down to hide my cheesy little smile. Yes, I'm ashamed of doing that stupid smile thing you see on crappy romance movies. Sue me.
Then the last time we seen eachother her boyfriend was there. I smiled at her before I realized it was her boyfriend. I was "the guy" fooling around with another guy's partner. When I put two and two together I just looked at her, she looked guilty as hell, shook my head and didn't talk to her again. I don't want to be "the guy" in a scenario and given she would do that to her partner I just lost my respect for her. I would hate to be in a situation where I am the poor guy who she does that to.

That last one wasn't really a friendzone thing moreso a rejection but still, the most recent thing relevant to the subject.

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- shuggy-chan
  
  9 years ago
  
  Then why are we friend zoned?
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    What do you mean? :)
    
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    - shuggy-chan
      
      9 years ago
      
      Oh I forgot it's because we love ourselves too much to love anyone else
      
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        9 years ago
        
        Me and myself are always open to an open relationship woth you, Shuggy. ;)
        
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slings_and_arrows

9 years ago

From what I understand about social interaction and 'friends' (admittedly not much) friendzoning is a load of bullshit. I think for a friend to be your friend you should see them as an attractive person. Otherwise you're just using them until something better comes along. If they are of the opposite sex, you should be attracted on some level I think unless they really do nothing for you physically. That doesn't mean you'd ever act on it but you should think highly of the people you call friends. It only reflects badly on you anyway if you keep company with people you don't think much of - who you can joke to others that you friendzoned.

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Nokiot9

9 years ago

I don't. I always try to keep an open mind when it comes to my friends and experiences. If I know someone is attracted to me I usually will jump on it or tell then straight up that I'm not interested. I feel like saying 'can we just be friends' is a teasing lead on .

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MaggotMayonnaise

9 years ago

I never understood the "friendzone" thing being an insult....but i guess that is just because i'm an assxual and prefer friendship over sex and romance.

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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

Everybody goes about this differently.
I have female friends I could have likely hooked up with, but decided not to, but a big part of that is I do not want a relationship at this point in my life.
I like to get to know someone for a long time first as well before I would consider a relationship. I'm just not into the whole romance thing, nor do I get why it is such a big deal to other people when it is usually meaningless.
However someday I might decide I want a relationship. I am not sure, but if I do I would want to choose one of my female friends I have known for a long time to be my partner.
Currently I have about 10-20 girls I would choose from and would pick the best canidate who is single at that time if I ever decide to do that.

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- Shackleford96
  
  9 years ago
  
  ^Quite popular with the ladies, this one.
  
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  - disthing
    
    9 years ago
    
    10-20 women he got waiting by the telephone :P
    
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    - Shackleford96
      
      9 years ago
      
      I know, right. I don't even think i know 20 girls, let alone 20 that i might be interested in dating. Lol
      
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      - disthing
        
        9 years ago
        
        I know a lot of girls, but can count on one hand the number I'd be interested in having a relationship with, and on zero hands the number of them who'd be interested in me for anything beyond a quick fuck :P (hence why I'm currently single).
        
        I think bugsforbreakfast is a little too optimistic if he thinks he can just 'pick the best one' out of the assortment he knows. Unless he is god's gift to women and can turn his emotions on and off like a tap (faucet for you 'mericans) :P
        
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        9 years ago
        
        It's not too hard. I just keep in touch with people I meet and go out to places frequently. Being in the music biz helps too.
        I actually suck at the emotional side of dating, but I am good at making friends. I think I provide entertaining company but when it comes to emotional stuff I am lost.
        
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        Shackleford96
        
        9 years ago
        
        I can relate to that. Emotional dejection can be hard to deal with.
        
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Kind of off topic, but how would you explain to a girl you're "getting to know" for a while when she's getting impatient and thinking somethings wrong with her cause ur not making a move? But really ur just not ready and it has nothing to do with her. And how long would you go about getting to someone before making it official ?
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    It all depends. Currently, I have no interest in a relationship and I am not really sure if I ever will. I think I might want to in the future but have mixed feelings.
    The majority of my female friends are in relationships anyway. I just like having girls to hang out with and I think at this point I have more female friends. I have no problem finding a girl to hang out with and take to the bar or to dinner, etc. at the same time I often confused when it comes to dating, mostly because it involves an emotional factor.
    I have wondered if I have made girls think I dont like them when I do. I'm pretty open about discussing my thoughts but I am also very emotionally closed off, mostly because emotions are so confusing to me.
    
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that1guy93

9 years ago

Yes & no. A male will almost never pass up a chance to have sex with a female, however in regards to dating material, 100% yes. I have slept with girls that are my friends, but I would never even consider dating them, solely because their personality is far too "edgy". I settled for the "good girl" who respects me and stands by me, sort of like a woman, who will eventually settle for the nice guy who is there for her etc.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I think this was the most straightforward answer here ! :)
  
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green_boogers

9 years ago

Guys put undesirable girls in the "acquaintance zone".

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Are You Normal?

Do guys friend zone?