Divorce my mother

ok. Here goes. I am 43 years old and for the last 23 years my mother has had very very little to do with me. She never ask about her grandson and forgets to call me on my birthday for the last 18 years. its like I don't exist anymore. I lived up north and she lived down south. I visited her 3 times and never once would she come see me. My son wants nothing to do with her. She does not ask and I don't offer up the info. She tells me that I don't need her. That I am able to stand on my on two feet and take care of myself. This is true. I still believe that no one should ever have to outgrow their mommy. she now only calls about 1 times a month to see if I am working because she needs money. I have tried to hard to cut the ties but the guilt inside of me is so strong. I remember back when she had me commited for being gay, the therapist told me that my mother would probably be the death of me if I let her run my life. she is killing me inside. I cry so much at the lost of what was my mother. the woman that stands before me is someone I don't know. I cant keep going on like this. back and forth and back and forth. How do I break this endless chain of pain. I have a family now. They love me so much! I don't need her anymore. How in the world do I do this!? I feel like some days nothing is worth this kind of pain. Then she calls and I break down. Help please.

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63% Normal
Based on 19 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • ely02mercado

    Same here ... My mother is the worst mother of all! She divorced my father when I was 20 and she demands attention from her three children... My sister and my brother was all devastated and so I was! But she is nothing to us anymore .... When my father died last year, she did nothing but to show us that she is very happy he died.... i grew up with my uncles and grandma and my grandma is the one who place herself in my mother's shoes ..... Now that I am already a mother (I have an adoptive daughter), I promise myself that I will never ever let that happen to my precious baby girl .... Even though she is not my biological I'm going to love her as one of my everything in this world .... I don't consider her my family ... The only ones I consider family are my uncles, my aunt, my six younger cousins, my two siblings and my adopted baby.
    I feel sorry for you ... It is absolutely normal .... By the way I am twenty three and I am motherless for more than three years

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  • flyingnostalgia

    This sound tiring, i feel sorry for you. But she is your mother, and when parents get old they become selfish, they say stuff that they would never say before. i think it s for some a part of becoming old. Just because you have a new family dosent mean she isnt part of your family. She is getting old and needs someone there for her, but her being rude and stuff dosent make things easier, and if it is hard to show love, show sympathy.
    And give her some money if she asks - she is your mother for God,s sake. would you like her to go door to door and beg for money?

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    • craftymom24

      What does being old have to do with anything?? That doesn't justify her attitude! Try sending her a letter and tell her what her ways have done to you. If she gets nasty about it, say goodbye. Maybe with your absence she won't have anything to do but take a look at what she's done...

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      • angelw71

        Thank you. I am so tired of her hurting me. she is not that old. She is around 60 years old. she is a narcissist. She bought me a mobile home for my birthday and then she turned around 6 months later and says I want the title back so I can buy my own house. she has a house!! she wants two houses. I wrote a her a letter and told her how I felt and to stay away from me. will see how it goes. its hard. I still love her but no one needs this crap. everytime I tried to talk to her she was to busy or I am the problem. not anymore!!

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        • craftymom24

          Good luck to you! :)

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    • angelw71

      No she does not need help.
      She is fine. She is a narcissist. She spent 98,000 on her face and bought a 59,000 truck. what does that say about her when she always talks about money or herself. there is no room in her life for me or my family. this is a fact. I don't hate her. I just believe she should let me go. I am ok with that. she was never there anyways. she doesn't need money. she needs to realize that it is not about HER all the time. every once in a while I would have liked it to be about me or her grandchild. but no. no one should have to feel like they are not wanted. if I would have caved in then that is exactly what would happen. she spent 5 years without calling me. I tried so hard to call her but nothing. I didn't do anything to deserve being neglected by the only person that is supposed to protect me.

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