Did my ex attack me or am i over reacting?

Yes he attacked you. He escalated an argument to a physical level. Also of concern is: "This isn't the first time that something like this has happened."

So what's with you? Do you have no concern for your personal safety? Why are you ignoring, much less boozing & sexing it up with someone that upset and how volatile?

Make a clean break of it.

Under-reacting. A lot.

Alcohol sounds like the problem. Not the shirt ripping.

GET THE COPS NOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!

Back to the facts:
First, was there intent? Yes. He intended to (and did) use physical force to try to stop her from leaving the room. That is common assault.

No one, except under a very few & limited circumstances that have no application here, (and then only if the force is reasonable), can threaten or use force on another person.

Second, it is likely more than just common assault. Her clothing was ripped in half. She was slammed into the door injuring her hand. That is considerable force resulting in bodily harm.

Fundamental rights in civil society is not a poorly supervised school yard, nor ignorant opinion that denies or minimizes violence. It is your right as a citizen to be free from assault.

OP - yes he assaulted you. If you need further advice, see a lawyer or go to the cops.

over-reacting. he didn't touch you just your shirt. YOU hit the door frame and YOU fell. those are just accidents.

It sounds to me like youre overreacting also. Esp when someone is drunk, they dont have good depth perception or control on how hard the might pull...etc. He prob didnt realize it at all.

you're over reacting, girl.

dont go bk to him hes a prick

Yes he attacked you! He's probably an alcoholic and he sounds like a jerk. Stop sleeping with him cause it makes you feel like your still connected. He's a jerk. Ya'll are ex's for reason! You said it's the first time something like this happened well make sure it's the last and cut all ties!

It was just a action that had a bad chain of reactions, he didnt mean to hurt you

Also, the only reason ollioe is being so extreme is because this is so important. This isn't just some stupid IIN question, this is someone in danger and ollioe is only trying to help, ignoring that everyone is making fun, to help this girl, and for that, I have great respect.

@: hippychick and @: ollioe

I completely agree with ollioe. I don't know why you guys are putting down the one person who standing up for violence, it makes no sense.

I understand that this guy didn't punch her in the face or anything but he obviously doesn't respect her enough to make sure he's being careful with her which, to me, is a big red flag. If you don't have respect, you don't have a relationship, and lack of respect can turn into terrible things.

Also, this girl was seriously hurt, even if he didn't "push" her it was still his fault and he still intended to make it physical.

Lastly, this isn't the first time this has happened!! If it was, then I understand why you all are so set on it being an accident and okay. But seriously, you've been hurt like this before from this guy? HUGE red flag. I can't believe most of you would encourage this girl to be with him by saying everything is fine. Its obviously not.

Girl, get away from him, these are the first signs to really bad spouse abuse.

He was drunk.. he will not be in right mind.

to all the ppl saying that wasn't his intention a man drives home drunk hits a car kills a lady and her 2 children he did not intend to harm them but he did same thing here it may not of been true intent but she was harmed due to his actions had he not grabbed her she would not have been harmed do not minimalize it.

Why not just say to he'll with the drinking

OP I'm glad to hear an update on this. I think you are a smart girl and know the situation better than any of us. You clearly do have some common sense so just be sure to stay sober around him. Haha.

To clear it up, this was a few months ago, we've stayed split but he didnt mean anything by what happened and I don't blame him. I think he was being aggressive but he didn't mean to hurt me. We're on good terms and everythings fine now.

oh and to make it perfectly clear, you weren't assaulted

Really listen to me, he is in love and he was drunk. he couldn't control his strength, he sincerely didn't mean it, but if really wanna break up with him for good, take separate paths

He shouldn't have grabbed you but I don't think he meant to hurt you like that. He should definitely apologize and I think you should definitely forgive him as long as he knows he shouldn't grab you like that ever again. Forgive and forget and DON'T argue while drunk. My girlfriend and I got in a physical fight while drunk one time. Never again. I spit at her and she punched me in the face. lol...

I don't stand up for violence you idiot! I, however, will not condemn a person for doing something accidently. Don't put words in my mouth.

And yes, that was an insult. Now stop stalking me you crazy psycho.

And you know, one more thing, I have not been the one slinging insults. You are the one who's been name calling and generally acting like a child who didn't get their way. I actually asked someone to stop insulting you. Besides saying you're a bit of an extremist (which you've proven very much to be true) I've not insulted you once. In fact I'm not sure at all why your directed all of your anger at me.

Haha. Yeah I've seen that too. Olleos name had come up a few times when people are slaggin off stupid answers.

Ollieo, have you by seen the way people make fun of your answers? I'm getting tired of this conversation. Please just stop talking to me.

And just for the record, I also voted no. It's not normal, but it's sill not the extreme you're making it out to be. So that statistic you quoted does not mean everyone agrees with you.

Seriously get over it. This is pathetic already. If you so desperately need to have the last word....go for it. I know how bad you need to be right. I'll let you.

Actually 16% think its normal. As of now. So you are the ones WAY out of line. What do you want - an opinion on gravity?

You are very accomplished in your insults. But you are pathetic in your ability to recognize and stand up against violence.

Shame on you.

Thank you for adding to this. I think the comments, for the most part, showed that we understood that and were able to figure that out from your post. Sometimes we all over react though so I wouldn't worry about it. :)

Alright guys felt i ought to give some more information because of all the stuff kicking off in the comments section - I got to say I do think I overreacted. It was aggressive to pull me back into the room but it wasn't assault and he clearly didnt mean me to fall. We were both drunk and he used more force than intended but it was an accident. If the t shirt hadnt ripped I'd have been fine.

Wow. I wouldn't have put it quite so harshly...

Oh, okay then. I just didn't know that the phrase "to hook up" means "to have sex". But English is not my mother tongue, so I might have misunderstood it.

If you are still good friends, why don't you have sex with him?

Well you were drunk. Has he ever done something like his before? If you wasn't drunk then maybe you would have had more balance or something.

Why do you keep provoking him by coming over to his place when you know he might still have feelings for you? Do you get some kicks out of it? I think you should cut it out or else it might escalate to a point when he will gang-bang you together with his brother.

Lol, I wasn't planning on suing him, just wondering if it's the sort of thing that should affect our friendship.

Both drunk , got mad, but YOU FELL you know... Hejust wanted to pull you back in and you were drunk so you fall and hurt yourself.

Don't go see him again but don't sue his ass or anything.

Americans are always exaggerating things to the point where they can make money on it.

you should only have walk out the door and cut this guy out of your life.

And yet there you are hanging around with him. I think perhaps it is you with the problem.

look u had both been drinking alot by the sound of it. how many times have u been out with ur friends and woke up with cuts and bruises and you just laugh them off. i think the bigger picture is that this boy is clearly head over heals in love with u .

i think alcohol played a big role in the situation and dont argue while you both are drunk..i've been there once and it after one drunken argument the situation escalated into a fight with a family member

I'm sorry but you're overreacting. All he did was pull your shirt. Granted it was harder than he should have, but that was likely due to excessive amounts of alcohol and not actual intent. Yes, you did end up hurt but that was from stumbling into the door. It was as a result of him pulling your shirt, but I'm sure he didn't envision that happening when he tried to pull you back in the room. That's not to say that the bahvious isn't concerning, but I would hardly call it an attack. If he pushed you, yes. But he pulled your shirt and did nothing else himself.

Okay well.......... U never can truly know if someone meant to or didn't but if things like that have happened he needs anger management classes (my opinion)

Thank abbey for defending me but I can do that myself. Insulting someone is not the way to go.

Ollieo, give it a rest. You're taking it way too far.

What the f ollieo??? There is something seriously wrong with you. For you to get so bent out of shape that people are arguing with you is totally pathetic. And most people are disagreeing with you why are you attacking one person? I'm pretty sure hippychick neverentioned they were a teacher here so what are you doing stalking their profile??? That's pure psycho. You're a freak. And you scare me more than the dude who rippe the shirt. You're obviously mentally unbalanced.

Jesus Christ ollieo give it a rest. Every time I see one of your responses I scroll past it. Your opinions are totally ridiculous and always extreme and usually pretty stupid. Get over yourself.

And hippyhick and all the others are right. You're the type of girl who just cries wolf at the slightest provocation aren't you?

Ollieo....you have a different opinion. We don't agree with you and no amount of pushing it will change that. You're seriously over reacting. Intent is important. If you slam someones hand in a car door by accident it can cause serious damage but intent is key. His intent here is the same. He was trying to stop her from leaving...his intent was not to inflict pain. Geez. You're a bit of an extremist.