Depressed but not sad?

Ive struggled with real deep depression for a few months years ago before I graduated high school, partly because of my negative life-style I was living, but this time I feel depressed but without the horrible feeling of deep sadness.

I lack friendships, and that my be part of my problem. Actually never really had a long lasting friendship in my life. Im two years out of high school now working on a job, about to turn twenty-one.

I feel lack, in my life and I'm involved in the church, or at least I, "was" because it seems to me like its not worth going to anymore, who am i actually going for? Everyone there is deeply developed in their faith, and I was too at one point but it feel short. I don't feel like i fit there or anywhere sometimes, part of me not feeling like i fit in is because i use to struggle with my sexuality, which was difficult to talk about because with me I don't ever remember asking to be, nor choosing what I felt.

I feel like I'm just giving a sob story, not everything is bad in my life.