Dating my best friends sister

79% Normal
7 Comments

My best friends sister has always had a big crush on me and I have always had one on her. I managed to ignore my crush and hide this fact for two years out of respect for him, but this summer I could no longer resist. I ended up telling her how I felt and we ended up kissing. Needless to say, he eventually found out but when he found out he was fine with it. Now here's the real trouble I "all of a sudden" don't have a crush on her. It could be that when we kissed I didn't feel a connection or it could just be that I wanted something that I couldn't have and now that I have it I don't want it. Is this normal and what do you think I should do?

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 56 votes (44 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Manarutos
    14 years ago

    You were attracted to the "taboo" of the relationship, since that's gone...well..end of stroy.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    The fact that you are a friend of the family is in your favour. Start with your friend and just ask his advice as to how to best approach his sister. Tell him not to do so, that you are looking for advice & support. This does 2 things 1) gives him a heads up; 2) gives you some insight to his sis.

    Be respectful: describe your feelings to her soon after - both how wonderful & exciting the attraction was, and how now that those feelings have calmed down, you want to be friends only. Ask for her understanding & convey why you felt that way in the first place - that she is one special person. The idea is to be honest and respectful so that she knows where things are & her dignity is not affected.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    SO your one of those people who want what you can't have. Don't hurt her more and LYING will HURT HER MORE. Think about this long and hard and be honest with everyone.

    DO NOT HURT HER BY HAVING SEX WITH HER. THAT WILL ONLY CAUSE MORE PROBLEMS.

    However, figure out why you liked her before and strenghthen it.

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  • POWWOW
    14 years ago

    I have that same problem!!! i love someone so much and then when i get them in my hands i dont want them anymore! its sad.. i guess its just a cheap thrill. But i would try to find someone that is always fun and keep that thrill. I know some guys are so much fun and i want to stick around as long as i can, but its also nice to know there is always a good friend around.

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  • Princess4884
    14 years ago

    Perhaps it is a want-what-you-can't-have situation, or perhaps you just didn't feel how you thought you would when you kissed her. I think you should either tell her, or your friend. He might be able to give you advice on how to let her down easy, if he thinks you were just messing with her all you need to say is that you've liked her for a long time but the feelings eventually worn out.

    Adrian may have a point, that you haven't spent a lot of time in an almost boyfriend situation and it may just be a little unsureness thats caused you to no longer have feelings for her. But then again, so does SquareWheel, she may like you to much and it would spare her feelings.

    Do what you thinks best but...won't you have the same result no matter what you do? (Unless your feelings come back)

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  • SquareWheel
    14 years ago

    I don't know if I agree with Adrian. I don't think it's fair to lead her on if you really don't want to be with her. It's certainly a sticky situation, but I think telling her before she starts to like you would spare her feelings in the long run.

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  • andrian007
    14 years ago

    Ouch. Maybe that was just that: a crush. Crushes come and go very quickly. But you're right about one thing. It could be that you've now had something you never thought you could have, and all of sudden the thrill is gone.

    Give it a bit more time, a few months or something. If you're still not feeling anything, then break it off. No point continuing, is there?

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