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I think about killing people a lot. Especially when I'm mad at them, or someone's making me feel bad. I'm worried about this escalating. I have no history of violence and I've never hurt a fly. I'm very soft, empathetic and caring.. But then I have this dark place in my mind where I just want to kill people. Is this normal? Should I see someone?
I feel the same way sometimes.
I'm normally not at all violent and care about others a lot.
At the same time I often feel homicidal. I think I figured out why, although it is likely different for everyone.
Sometimes I feel homicidal because I do care. I feel so much anger towards people who abuse children and create suffering in this world. This world is so full of suffering I honestly do not think any amount of happiness and pleasure could ever possibly make up for it. I feel so angry about things I hear that people do towards those they are sussposed to love that I will obsess over how to put an end to it all.
Yeah, maybe talk to someone about it. When I eat dinner, I usually play with my food and sometimes I'll imagine my mashed potatoes are clouds. I hoist them up with my fork and I put the melted butter on top and it drips the the bottom like little rain drops. I imagine the rain is made out of acid and the chicken or meatloaf or meat like substance on my plate is a city, and the peas are the little people.
"Oh, babra baaaabra, look! Look! Them clouds are rainin' draino, ahh no babbbbbra."
"Johnny boy, johny boy don't don't go near the buttah, allah yah skin ole melt right offa yah."
If you feel like it's hurting your relationships and your life then speak to someone.