Cutting/drawing - depression
I'm a cutter. I've been trying to stop, but it's hard. My wrists and stomach are covered in scars. I can't help it.
My man and I have been going through a very rough patch. When we were talking on the phone last night, he got all mad at me for pretty much nothing.
I was SO upset. I didn't want to live anymore. Like seriously. I have depression, anxiety and OCD.
I was about to cut myself with a knife, when my cat came along. She meowed and purred, and it was like she was telling me not to hurt myself, and that she loves me. So I put down the knife.
I was, however, still in a manic state of mind, and I had to do something. So I found some Sharpie markers and started to draw on my body - broken hearts, frowny faces, and sad/bad sayings. Pretty harmless. It will wash off.
After that, I took my pills (antidepresants, along with Ativan to relax me). After 10 mins or so, I was knocked out. Thank goodness for antidepressants.
Is my behaviour normal? You all probably think I'm nuts now!