Cutting/drawing - depression

I'm a cutter. I've been trying to stop, but it's hard. My wrists and stomach are covered in scars. I can't help it.

My man and I have been going through a very rough patch. When we were talking on the phone last night, he got all mad at me for pretty much nothing.

I was SO upset. I didn't want to live anymore. Like seriously. I have depression, anxiety and OCD.

I was about to cut myself with a knife, when my cat came along. She meowed and purred, and it was like she was telling me not to hurt myself, and that she loves me. So I put down the knife.

I was, however, still in a manic state of mind, and I had to do something. So I found some Sharpie markers and started to draw on my body - broken hearts, frowny faces, and sad/bad sayings. Pretty harmless. It will wash off.

After that, I took my pills (antidepresants, along with Ativan to relax me). After 10 mins or so, I was knocked out. Thank goodness for antidepressants.

Is my behaviour normal? You all probably think I'm nuts now!

Voting Results
31% Normal
Based on 58 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • alv1592

    I don't think you're crazy. You're just way over-sensitive. Hurting yourself is never a good idea. Maybe you should go see a counselor. Or ask your doctor about getting a stronger anti-depressant.

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  • WAFFLESQUID

    Leave your man. If he gets mad over you for nothing and gets you into that state of mind LEAVE HIM. I was in the same situation, and I almost killed myself as well. In the end, I realized even though I love him, he was still a selfish, inconsiderate, ignorant, annoying, immature little brat. So I left him. Then I fell in love with someone else who was better than all of that. I'm not saying you will fall in love soon, and it might be hard to get over him, but in the end it will be well worth it. And, if he really loves you, after you leave he will be chasing after you. You will know if he really wants to change for you or not, and you have to tell him if he does not change at all you will never take him back. But then again, the guy I was with refused to change for me while trying to change me. Do what you feel is right, and don't get put down by someone like that. For the cutting thing, yes it is hard to stop. When you have the urge, focus on something else. If you HAVE to cut yourself, then do it less and less until you gradually stop altogether. Find other ways to release your emotions and feelings. Write them down, take a walk, take martial arts, read a book, play a violent video game, just get rid of the negative energy. If you need help, you could message me, I'll do whatever I can to help you out.

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  • Kat444

    Not normal, but at least drawing on yourself is better than cutting yourself. You should really talk to someone about this, like a counselor or psychologist.

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  • Fuckin emos don't get the job done than normal people have to deal with ya

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  • LM89

    I haven't cut in 3 years all thanks to weed.

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  • Wreckedems

    Get stoned. Everything will be alright.

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  • somethingbecomingnothing

    I have depression and anxiety too... and I'm a cutter. but im trying to stop. and I have found that just drawing on myself really is almost just as satisfying as cutting, so i always keep a sharpie with me just in case.
    but I have to disagree with you about the antidepressants part... I take them every day and they do nothing to help me. yes, they do dull the depression, but they don't ever help me.
    when it comes to your man tho... idk. I know when I'm depressed I overreact and everything and you could just be doing that but I don't know the details so that's all ima say bout that.
    but my bf made me stop cutting because he hates to see me hurt myself. sometimes he even draws on me with me and writes me cute little notes and they really help me feel better....

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  • xebx

    yeahh..leave your mann! you shouldn't hurt yourself because of a dumbb idiot like himm..why are u even with himm..if he cared for you soo much he should atleats beat u up everytime u cut yourselff.ahha jst kidding..but seriously thats not normall..

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  • thanks everyone for all your advice. I really appreciate it! Yeah I also have OCD, anxiety and depression. I was on meds for a while, but then I lost my job and all my health benefits, so I had to quit. I know, not a good thing, but what can ya do? Either get the meds or eat. I don't wanna starve! Anyway someone introduced me to pot, and let me tell you,it worked great! I love getting high, relaxing, and enjoying life a little more. Weed really helps. I know some people are against it but they really should look into it more.

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  • TommyGun07

    Yes it's normal but it is contolable! I recently had a major break down and began cutting my self so realizing something want right I went to a mental hospital! And no it's not exactly like the movies! It really is a helpful place! I met alot of people I could relate to! People jus like me and I thought I was the only one! So no it's normal! Why there I was diagnosted with bipolar 1 , OCD, and ADD! So yeah I was In pretty bad shape! But now I am on several meds but I feel so much better! It's all a cimecle imbalance! But it is all treatable! I wish the best for you! I hope everything turns out great for you! Just talk to your doctor! Tell them the truth! And there really are ways to get and feel better! :)

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  • ilovesmellybox

    Hi Babe, Yes look after yourself...

    This is so important because our family and friends love us ,[even though sometimes we may not feel their love].
    Counselling for me has turned my life around.
    Im well medicated ,and stable..
    Now im getting on with my life!

    Thank goodness....Best of luck

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  • stone_love

    I don't think you're nuts! :)

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    • Aww, thanks :)

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