Creepy man is making me physically ill, iin?

I am the same person that wrote the post "Unwanted Matchmaking, IIN?" and this post is a continuation of this situation…

The same man from the grocery store is really beginning to creep me out. I don't know quite what it is about him but, there's something about him that makes me very uncomfortable and uneasy. It is getting to the point where I am developing an aversion of going to that store, but unfortunately going to another branch is currently out of the question.

When I do go there, I am terrified about seeing him and even more so terrified about using my phone while I am there. I don't want him to see me on my phone because, then he might ask for my phone number and I really don't want him to have it.

While I fear that I may have accidentally lead him on the second week out of panic, the third week I did my very best to ignore him. However, when we got to the car, the person that I go shopping with told me that I could get in the car if I wanted. I replied with "That would be ideal." As I said this, I happened to turn slightly to find this guy intensely staring at me. This really made me uncomfortable so, I quickly got into the car and grabbed my book.

The trunk was pulled up and I heard him say odd things. He keeps saying that it is so nice to see me come back to the store as if I keep coming back solely for him. He referred to me as a "little partner in crime". I feel that this must have been a form of probing question because the stupid person I go shopping with told him that I was her granddaughter! I don't like this guy knowing about my personal information.

Another thing that really unnerved me, was when he was putting the groceries in the trunk and he said loudly, "I see books! What books are those?" I am left to assume that because I ignored him, that he got so desperate to see me that he actually was looking into the car between the space of where the trunk door ends and in through the tiny sliver of window that is exposed.

In order to do this, he would have to have been really bending low and purposefully trying to see in. These books in question were all inside of the car and not in the truck that I can remember. I have a feeling that my relative is trying to cover up for this guy by claiming these books were in the trunk. If the books were truly in the trunk, there would be no need for him to carrying on like that.

This guy has also apparently been asking my relative about her religion and trying to find out what church she goes to. Since we are related, he probably is assuming that we go to the same church.

Anyway, I think the stress from having to potentially deal with this man is starting to make me psychically ill. These past few weeks, on the way to the store, I have been experiencing severe nausea. Last week, the nausea was so severe that I vomited in the car.

I haven't been that sick in a long time. Even thinking or having to talk about him in conversation is making me sick. Besides nausea and vomiting, I have experienced an increase in body temperature, rapid heart pulse, shaking, weakness and anxiety.

I have tried to make my family members understand my concerns about this man, but most of them have gone unheard. The relative who was trying to matchmake me with him is still trying and she told me that I was overreacting and misunderstanding a "nice young man who just wanted to be friends". Bullshit. Even if this man wasn't creepy, it wouldn't be fair to be in a relationship with him since I am a lesbian.

IIN?!

Voting Results
46% Normal
Based on 26 votes (12 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 19 )
  • shortandtothepoint

    Sounds like you've got a right pesky bastard on your hands. Carry pepper spray. It will help on a psychological level at least.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • I don't wear purses so, I don't know what I could carry it in. I am not even sure how I could get my hands on some. I also worry about potentially getting in trouble. I have thought about going into marital arts, but the situation is complicated. I have even thought about carrying a knife on me but I am scared of getting in trouble. There appears to be an ethnicity difference between us. What if he tries to twist the truth to suit him? I haven't seen him for about 4 times since the last time that I did. In regards to the religion thing, if I am recalling correctly, my stupid grandmother told him not only the name of the church but the fucking area as well when he asked! I think she might have even told him that we both lived in that area. Sometimes, I worry that one of these days, I'll look outside a window and see him there. It worries me that I might "bump" into him somewhere or that he will try to follow the car to see where I live. I ordered something at that store, what if he goes into the database and finds my home number? Judging from what I have experienced, is he displaying the beginning signs of a stalker?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • robbieforgotpw

    Start farting a lot in his presence so he loses interest?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • They never seem to come at the right time. What if they aren't loud or smelly enough? What about the embarrassment?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • ThatCreepyWhiteGuy

    Hello.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • lolol555

    That's freaky. I think you need to be more assertive with your family, truly tell them how BAD you feel. Throwing up is a terrible sign; if that doesn't get the message across, fuck knows what will. Try talking to your friends about it too, if your family's ignorant there may be at least one friend who could understand. I find confiding in someone really takes a bit of the load off, so talk to everyone close about it if you can.

    Also, like shortandtothepoint said, definitely carry pepper spray. Mace too, if it's allowed. Any sort of weaponry that will help you feel safer.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • I forgot. On the religion thing, she told me that I could always lie about my religion o try to throw him off. The truth of the matter is that I am an atheist, but I am not completely out about that. I have also thought about telling him that I am in love with someone else and that I am okay with waiting for this person for however long is necessary. This is actually true. I have even considered lying and saying that I am already dating a man. However, in regards to all of these possibilities, it concerns me that he may be the type of person who likes to check up on facts behind a person's back. I don't want to get in anymore trouble with my family.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
    • The only other person I have told in length about the situation is my therapist. She told me to firmly say "No, Thank you." Until he stops. If he still doesn't she said that I can make a complaint to him to the store's management. She says that I have a lot of power in the situation since I am a customer. Stores thrive and can fail by their customers. If it effects their customer's they'll want to do something about it. The thing is is that their management/business ethic seems to be a little flawed. It's hard to get a hold of the people in charge that I like at the store. They also don't seem to have a email for complaints. She doubts that this guy will be able to rape me in that store, but she did say that I could try staying close to the relative who accompanies me there.

      I've always been androgynous, but never all of the way. I don't wear purses. I have been thinking about completely switching my clothing to the men's aisle. Hopefully, that will deter him? I am not even sure if there are extreme security measure at that store, like security cameras.

      I haven't seen him for about 4 times now, but it places me at an even more awkward situation. I was hoping that he had been fired or gotten sick. If it turns out that he's only working on certain days, if I ask and they tell him and he finds out it was me, he might be even more convinced about the chance of love. O_O The store has a tendency to randomly transfer employees so, there's always going to be the anxiety of: What if I see this guy again?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • DarkestMoon

    When you said you were a lesbian, that came as a surprise. I should have known because when guys acts in the way the creeper acts towards you, whether it be directed to me or my sister, I get annoyed and repulsed. This guys sounds like a extreme creeper, to me. Eh...I hate thinking about being in this kinds of situations. If I was indeed In your position, I would repeatedly think to myself "why couldn't it be a GIRL?" Anyways, I don't really know what you can do to stop him without upsetting him and killing you (it's a joke....it's a joke) but what I do know is that you can try to make yourself seem as neutral as possible. I don't think you should keep ignoring him. I think that just provokes him to seek you out more. Just act neutral. Example: "How was your day today? It was fine" you can also go with a male friend to the store so he knows not to disturb you as much....like do you know what I mean? I honestly think this advice is rubbish. Hopefully this situation gets sorted out real soon.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Thank you. Do you think switching completely to men's clothing could throw him off?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Usenoname

    I hate men who don't get it and refuse to take a hint. Makes all men look bad. Please know that being nice doesn't work. Be assertive, the only way is to make it clear there's no chance. Don't fear men, once ego is hit you will see a give up. My friends suck, they don't care, if you don't TELL them NO/NOT INTERESTED/I'm SEEING SOMEONE..all they see is what they want. Trust me, guys take nice as YES/a way in/in your pants. I'm not bad
    but am warning you. Women need to literally man up to men. Sorry you're sickened. Please don't let this turn dangerous.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Thank you. It is so hard to keep myself in tact, personality wise, with this. I haven't seen him in awhile but, it scares me that he could come back at any time.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • Usenoname

        I know being uncomfortable can cause a bit of a challenge, being assertive, you just need to make it clear the next time he bothers you, you're NOT interested. Incessantly ignoring him and avoiding any eye contact, if you don't want to literally say "I'm not interested", just use as much body language, from now on. If he ever has the nerve to ask you out, that's the perfect opportunity to say, "I'm dating someone" and quickly remove yourself from his presence. Just be as short/stand off-ish as you possibly can.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
  • linchpin

    Go in there holding hands with a girl and make sure he sees you kissing her

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • My family doesn't know that I am gay, though they seem to have been theorizing this for a long ass time. Still a lot of them are homophobic and I could get into a lot of trouble, especially seeing as I still live with my mother. I'll admit, I have been tempted enough to find myself a gay man who could believably pretend to be my boyfriend.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • familyguy63

    Stop being a wuss! Where are you from? Can't be from California!!!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Usenoname

      You're a moron. She's not a "wuss" simply because she doesn't prefer confrontation. A lot of people avoid awkward situations/confrontation, due to the anxiety a "creep" can cause. Not everyone likes to say, "F*k off", even if they really want to. As a guy, I highly doubt you understand what it's like to be "preyed" on by creep men, women even, which sorry, doesn't happen, haha. Even then, men are notorious for not taking a hint. Intentionally, of course. My friends in the past did not hear "No", they only attempt until shot down, verbally. Having ego-hit.
      Also, it's disconcerting when someone acts oblivious, you can only wonder their train of thought and compulsive/ persuasive behavior entails. Being so pushy and out of line, shows their character. Creepy.

      Being FROM California, it has nothing to do with where you're from; guys/creepy ones' are the same, no matter the state and girl's reaction varies, just the same. My gfs in Cali where no different than ones' here in DC. Reaction wise, some can say what they feel, some can't, it has nothing to do with geography. Being uncomfortable/anxiety is an issue a good number of people struggle with. I find it incredibly moronic of you to call someone a "wuss" for having severe anxiety; then bring my state into the same sentence! You can't be from California. But definitely another male! *durp durp*

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • familyguy63

        Didn't want to coddle her! Wuss isn't exactly a bad word,,,! Will ignore the "moron" label. Lived here since 84,and have known women in similar situations,some much worse.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
    • East coast.

      Comment Hidden ( show )