Craving alcohol even though i rarely drink

I consider myself more or less of a non-drinker.

I was introduced to alcohol at a fairly young age and it was like a special, knowledge or an exclusive treat. I still remember the words of a fellow school mate when I was in year 6 - "If you already drink now, then it's more likely that you'll become an alcoholic when you're older." At the time, I thought that was a silly thing to say, but now, I can't shake those words.

My grandfather (mother's side) was quite the drinker and I've been told several times that I've inherited his genes because I can hold my drink much better than my cousins (father's side.) Actually, about my dad - he went to hospital a couple of years ago because his unhealthy lifestyle lead to him getting ill. He'd been going to all these dinner parties with rich food and...you guessed it; lot's of wine. It was all part of business networking or whatever.

So, it was partly because of these things that I began to reject alcohol even though I did enjoy it. However, I only made the decision to abstain from it completely when I started to have cravings for it at totally inappropriate times, such as first thing the morning or late at night. This started happening during highschool. Highschool was also when my sleeping problems began to become much worse, so I started drinking to help me get to sleep or "keep me warm." It was with my mother's knowledge, because otherwise the disappearing liquor would be slightly suspect. Now that I think back on it, it was a terribly lame excuse, so I have no idea how it didn't ring alarm bells with my mum, since she's a responsible parent. Hmm

All this and I hardly touched alcohol except for at Christmas/New Year's Eve and even then, hardly anything!

So after not drinking at all, I felt the cravings disappear. Until last year, when I attended a party and downed something to still my nerves before going. I'm not very social, so I was determined that I would go. There was also alcohol there. After that, I started drinking in secret.

That stopped as abruptly as it began, but now it's back. Only the other day, I was talking online - drunk - and afterwards, I felt so embarassed and ashamed. I had been at the Brennivin that no-one drinks. When I looked it up, I was amused to discover that it is a drink associated with drunkards. I hadn't allowed myself to get properly drunk before and it was an interesting feeling. I could hardly feel anything, even when I bit my arm and I just started laughing. When I walked, it felt like I was bouncing, as if the gravity was weak and. I'm sorely, sorely tempted to go and get a drink right now...but I won't. I'm really tempted. I'm just confused, because these have all been isolated incidents. I don't go out drinking and nor do I get wasted on a regular basis. What's going on? Do I have a predisposition to this? Have I inherited an addictive personality or something? Is it normal?