Cousin (in-law) and 13 year age gap?

I've recently started a relationship with my cousin's wife's brother (so my cousin in law) and he is 13 years older than me (I'm 20, he is 33). Our families knew we were attracted to each other when he met, but don't know that we have stayed in contact with each other. I'm nervous about what they will all think about this situation. Do you think it is normal/okay?

Voting Results
74% Normal
Based on 70 votes (52 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • MarzipanMcPig

    i don't believe he would actually be considered your cousin-in-law anyway. your cousin's wife is your cousin-in-law, but i believe the relation stops there, and anyone beyond that related to your cousin's wife [aside from her children by your cousin, of course], are not legally related to you. i believe

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  • psycho_logy

    The cousin-in-law thing probably not a problem. No blood relation. The age thing is tricky. First step is probably the getting to know each other making sure you have what it takes to even have a good relationship. An age gap adds different challenges to a relationship (being at different stages in life, maturity, etc) but people do it. If you find you do want to pursue a relationship then thats where the matter of the family comes in. I think the biggest thing would be the age difference, depends on your family. You may have some for it some against it and you will have to deal with that with each of those people. You are old enough to make your own decisions, but of course you will want to weigh how much you want to be with him with how it will affect the other relationships in your life. Good luck!

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  • treehugga

    OF COURSE its normal LOOOL this dude has nothin 2 do with u i dont no how u ever thought this wud b a problem!

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  • redcarp

    it is normal to be worried since social conventions, even though silly and without a real and important genetic background, can kill you wasting your relationship with all your relatives... I had a similar story with 15 year younger, then we decided to end it, not because we are not attracted by each other or because we realized we are doing something wrong... we simply realized that few people could have accepted such a situation, so we looked forward for other partners. I am not saying it is the right thing for you, it depends also on how "closed-minded" are your relatives and "relatives-in-law" ---and if you are sure it is love or you think it could be a "hot" pleasant crush you expect it would end even by itself in the future, ... but keeping it secret can make you mad and paranoic...

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  • thundercat

    You are, by legal age, a full adult.
    Then, from that, the difference in age is just a matter of coincidence of mental age and outlooks about life, things will be good if they are either coincidental or complementary.
    But, and here is an apparent big snag, the mere fact of you getting worried and stressed because of what others in your family and acquaintances could think and say, makes clear that you are not at all mature yet in your own criterion and emotional state. You are immature for an stable relation, and you are not really in love, but it must be an infatuation, maybe sexual attraction.
    Why don't you space and chill out the relation for about six months? If by then both you and him have kept free and still wanting to have a relation, you could again try it.
    No offense at all intended, but by your own question you are still too young to think in committing in a relation with someone so much older, in terms of life experience, than you. He either is also immature, if he doesn't catch that you are emotionally immature yourself, and that is not any good nor acceptable at thirty odd, and your relation will be a mess playing with a sub-senile, by comparisson with you, mental teen, or if he is aware of your emotional immaturity he then is a darn dirty old man trying to lie a young tender chick. Whichever, it is not a good experience for a young lady entering in life.
    Better chill out and take some distance now to have an ampler perspective of things.

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  • rina123

    well ur not technicallly realated to him and age aint nothin but a number right?

    i dont know about normal
    but its not wrong lol

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  • happycamper12

    its normal. there is no blood relation. my aunt married her brother-in-law.

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