Could you love this person, and be willing to commit to them?

25 Comments

I'm a person who cries a lot. It's not the kind of obvious "I know why this person is crying" type of crying. It doesn't need a reason. It's been going on for so long now. I've never seen anyone for it. It makes me feel so alone. I only do it in front of people if I feel safe around them and that's pretty rare, but mostly I do it alone so no one has to see. It lasts for hours sometimes. I can't do anything about it, like stop or control it. I'm a young adult and I've bee like this ever since I was a child, so it's not hormonal. I can't help it.

I'm also very noticeable in public. I have a very quiet voice, and it's hard to hear me. I have messy looking hair and I'm quite pale. I talk to myself too, and I can't help that either. I guess those would be my most noticeable physical characteristics.

I can't have sex, but I'm still able to be genuinely affectionate, or at least I hope so. I can hug and cuddle, and kiss, but I think that's it.

I couldn't.	20
I could.	26
Other (Comment please)	2

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Comments ( 25 )

iEatZombies_

9 years ago

None of those qualities are off-putting to me. Paleness and messy hair can actually be attractifve depending on what kind of pale and messy. I would have to know why you can't have sex, though. If it were permanent, we would have to work something else out evetually.

Well, let's go get married. Make it snappy. I have to be at the dentist in an hour.

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megadriver

9 years ago

I could, but not in a sexless relationship.
A sexless relationship with a woman who is my girlfriend is no different than a relationship with a woman who is just a casual friend.
Hugging won't do. Sex is a must in a proper relationship.

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JellyTots

9 years ago

Pale + messy hair = HOT.

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TrustMeImLying

9 years ago

What about you? Do you love yourself?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I'm not sure.
  
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  - modernism
    
    9 years ago
    
    I'd suggest working on accepting yourself first. It's hard to find someone who will love you if you don't love yourself (so cheesy, but true). Have some time for yourself to work things out. Along the way, you never know - you could find someone. <3
    
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(s)aint

9 years ago

I could probably befriend you, seeing as I have somewhat of the same problem. Only thing is that I KNOW why I'm crying. Try this the next time: think LONG and hard about what happened before you cried. Even the smallest reason counts.

Regarding a relationship as a sex-addict I could never be with someone who wouldn't be able to give that to me. Curious to why you can't have sex though? Sex does not have to equal penetration.

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T_Dub16

7 years ago

Pale skin isn't so bad. Messy hair in my opinion can be attractive. But I'm a girl so I would like it better on a boy. Google "Bella Swan" and most of the pictures of her shows messy hair, but she's still beautiful.

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Dubstep

9 years ago

OMG, this is so strange, I'm the same thing, it's like u wrote this about me, Its good to know I'm not alone. but it's so weird how we lookalike.

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thegypsysailor

9 years ago

Why can't you have sex?
The crying thing sounds to me like some kind of chemical imbalance or deep depression. I'd bet a doctor could help with that.
As for getting married and not having sex, well good luck with that. Even if you are physically incapable of having intercourse, there are still blow jobs, hand jobs and anal just to name some of your options.
If it's all in your head and you mean NO sex at all, then I think you are unlikely to find anyone who would go along with that for very long.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Also I'm not depressed. I cry when I'm happy too. I guess I could be depressed about the crying being off putting to people
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I can't, because whenever I think about it, I get scared. I don't want to be alone forever.
  
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  - thegypsysailor
    
    9 years ago
    
    It will take a gentle, loving person to introduce you to sex. No need to be in a hurry, but sex is a wonderful part of life and nothing to be afraid of. Be patient.
    In time, you will find several wonderful people who will love you and one will introduce you to sex and everything will be just fine.
    
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    - Ellenna
      
      9 years ago
      
      That was a lovely tender reply gypsysailor - you do keep surprising me!
      
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  - pixie44
    
    9 years ago
    
    I think you might have an anxiety problem based on the fact that you don't want to have sex for those reasons. Nothing to ashamed of a lot of people have it and theres medicine that will treat it. Also you're little random spouts of crying could be very minor panic attacks.
    But i would lean more towards depression. I would honestly go see a psychiatrist and talk to them about it. But be very open with them because it sounds like you do wan't to get better and they can't help you if you're not 100% honest.
    
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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

I could be friends, but if you are asking about a relationship, I dont want a relationship with anybody, but if I did I dont see the point of a sexless relationship because to me sex is the only thing that seperates a casual friendship from a sexual one.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  A relationship is hard work, so I could understand. I'm thinking of being married, but with all of the love and none of the sex. I also don't think casual friends like to cuddle and hold each other.
  
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  - megadriver
    
    9 years ago
    
    You do know that at some point in the marriage you and your husband are going have sex so you can have kids right?
    Can't make children without sex now can 'ya... XD
    
    Unless you want to go through the trouble of making a vat-baby. But in my mind, that's messed up.
    "Mommy, where did I come from?"
    From a sci-fi pickle jar dear.
    
    You either fully commit, or be forever alone.
    
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    - modernism
      
      9 years ago
      
      Not all married couples have children.
      
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    I do with some of my female friends. I do not follow the typical norms of human interaction. Relationships are a confusing concept for me. I prefer to having an assortment of female friends I can spend time with. I have tried relationships before and both girlfriends I've had said we were no different than friends who had sex. I probably will never understand what the difference is. Most people overthink emotions too much. I don't quite fit in with the way society works so much of it is confusing to me.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      I still think there's a difference. I know my friends, but there are some people I would like to know more. The feeling I get around people I have feelings for is different, it's different and it's a lot stronger.
      
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- TheChakraMantra
  
  9 years ago
  
  I'm rather confused; so are you saying that you feel the exact same way towards your friends as you do towards someone you're in a romantic relationship with? Because that's the key difference between friends and lovers. I mean, if you're friends with someone, and you just happen to have sex with them sometimes, then that's just a 'friends with benefits' deal. But if you're in an actual, romantic relationship, then you probably wouldn't hold the same feelings towards them as you would towards just a friend. Like, for example, you'd probably get upset if you saw someone you're romantically interested in with someone else. But if it was just a friend who you have no romantic feelings for, then it wouldn't really faze you.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    You may be just as confused as I am. To answer your question, no I do not see the difference. When I had a girlfriend I held her in higher regard than most, but the general emotion was not different other than lust. It seems to me a friends with benefits is different because it is not a monogamous situation. I have no clue how most people process emotions but I have concluded that it is very different and does not make sence to me, but I attempt to understand in effort to not cause unnecessary issues.
    
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    - TheChakraMantra
      
      9 years ago
      
      Hmm...
      
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- Pseodonihm
  
  9 years ago
  
  I'm with bugs on being friends and the sexless relationship. You sound like a very sensitive and introverted person. These are not bad characteristics, but in our society they are undesirable.
  
  It's the answer you gave RawSodium that concerns me. If you're not sure if you love yourself you might be slipping into depression. That is something to be concerned about. If you feel things are getting worse you should seek some help.
  
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Could you love this person, and be willing to commit to them?